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The Attempt

my piece of claymy piece of clay Posts: 116
edited November 2008 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Ah Pablo and Paris
How you make me limp at the attempt_
the kiss out of hand
My head and heart whole
On the Seine shore,
river just sat there beside me as I went on through cursive streets stoney beauties the guide she had led me passed windows to see the many faces
the people
in those eyes
at a glance
they retreat
from their smiles
from their deeps impressions, no
Distance speaks
into quick lines
and our quiet cages
we are only bodies indifferent places,
I realized you,
familiar in as I am
a stranger too
In gray and blue ballets...

mr
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • my piece of claymy piece of clay Posts: 116
    This was an expensive piece of sh*t. I have revised this thing 50 times never to get it like I want it. I would welcome any ...? I do realize the title kinda dooms it already.
  • my piece of claymy piece of clay Posts: 116
    Forgive me for accidently posting this thread three times. I was drinking wine at the time. :Have a good laugh with me!
  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    my piece of clay wrote:

    Ah Pablo and Paris how you make me limp at the
    the kiss out of hand. My head and heart whole
    On the Seine shore, beside me as we went through cursive streets
    stoney beauties guide, led us past the windows and the many faces
    retreating from their smiles and deep impressions.
    No. Distance speaks into the quick lines and our quiet cages
    We are only bodies in indifferent places
    Where I realized you, as familiar as I am
    are a stranger too

    In gray and blue ballets...

    my crack at it ;)
  • my piece of claymy piece of clay Posts: 116
    NICE attempt! I like it. Trying to always relive Paris in that one.
    If you would indulge me..
    Let me translate where I am at this beautiful eve. I have a small marina in front of me, an airport just off to the right, Marine corps recruits base just to the left..(I hope they get to write letters home tonite its quiet). Crescent moon above me, some stars,
    The crickets and a seagull of course.. It is a peaceful night at this park bench, at this moment I can breath deep, the night birds chirp their promise to me to always be here...
  • my piece of claymy piece of clay Posts: 116
    For this beautiful day
    for the tears in my eyes
    For the deep and rocking watery scenery that lies before me, I love the ocean, and the bending hush sounds of the waves, reaching out to me, as if to say, "Girl, you are the change and the presence too, everything is okay". My mind, body and soul are all quiet here, listening, feeling enjoying and grateful for being. The ocean sky and air make it is so gently clear that I am peacefully home..
  • my piece of claymy piece of clay Posts: 116
    Force fed
    by the fates
    Moiraes cache
    fed the lush motions of make believe
    Ever turning her interpretations
    of past life memories,
    Edna's into me
    Overcrowded signs and tags, St. Fish reappearing, swimming against or with the theatrics of one
    a stylo pen, nestled neatly in the palm cradle of a square, pond and reed looking into me, like the reminders of times bells,
    mine silouette in sound, these are
    the delivery systems...
    of radio soledad
    and my journals
    of mountain climbing to you on a feeling and scripture, you this white arrow of my mental pyramid...
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