Cold hands

eulusso

The old came while I was putting on my wet suit. He is the light house keeper here. He came near to me, step by step, slow pace, and his hands in his pockets, watching. Then he said briskly, “how do you guys stay in that cold water for hours? Don’t even get paid for that uh?” I smiled to the old man and his funny remark, and said “they make good wet suits now you know! and actually we pay to do that! Last board I broke cost me 500!” He said nothing for a while, just blinked a couple of times like lost in his thoughts, “Damn I used to be a sailor! I spent my life in a boat, fishing cod, in Newfoundland, now I’m cold all the time…See I have these gloves but, I’m cold all the time, specially the hands, my hands got so cold they never warmed up again. They used to send us two by two, in smaller boats, and in by the end of the work day we got back to the main ship, to unload. But they would not let us in before our boat was full of cod fish, no sir! No question. One day me and my buddy were having a bad day, no catches, so we stayed until late, almost night it was. When we started pulling the net on board, something was holding it. Big catch maybe. We draw which one of us would dip his arms in the cold water to unjam it, and it was my friend. We laughed about it! He was trying to pull it up, hard as he could, and he slightly bent more and more until he fell down. I grabbed his leg and tried to pull him up, but the boat was loaded now and any threatening to capsize…big man he was, and all his clothes full of water…and his arm was caught in a snarl of the net! I hold him there as long as I could, pulling, till I my hands were so cold I couldn’t feel then anymore. I let him go. I let him go. Then I saw a big shadow coming up, I thought it was him coming back…but no it wasn’t, it was a big, big dark fish, swimming around the boat, like this, he did it couple of times and went away.
I came back to the boat alone, and never went to Newfoundland again, and never even fished again, I found myself another job. As a lighthouse keeper. My hands never got warm again, that’s how it happened. At nights I watch the bay, it’s like a shadow but, and I think I saw that fish. He comes around. I believe he followed me.
I’m pretty sure mister – I said – I see shadows myself, fishes surfing the waves just like us, but under the water! And birds surfing the air stream pushed by the wave too. There'a a place for all of us there, and believe me, we feel good. The man smiled faintly, and I said good bye. As I walked down to the beach I knew he was watching me, and I thought how happy I should feel. When I looked again, he was taking his hands out of his pockets, and with a daring gesture, he took of his gloves.

Eulusso.