call everything by it's own name

yellowbird · January 2008

i'm done
i came here about two years ago
as shecarriesapearl
thought i knew everything
until i met you
and then i was "transformed"
i became mrs.potter
let's call it fate
but then i became frightened
i changed to rtherebirdsinheaven
so many unanswered questions
not feeling complete
i became tellmesomethingtrue
and i waited, for something true
i'm not very patient
still i was searching for the perfect name
and i found yellowbird
which seemed so wonderful at the time
there was a beautiful yellow bird i saw
one time walking down a trail, about ten years ago, i guess
never saw any thing like it in the wild before
ten years later, a week before we moved away
a yellow bird came right to my window
and fluttered there right in front of me
it flew off to a nearby tree
and then came back to my window and
just hovered there right in front of my face
finally it flew off, tree to tree, until
i could no longer see it
it was beautiful
that was yellowbird
i am not
we all make difficult choices in our lives
letting you go was not an option
but letting you go, for now, is

call everything by it's own name
i am denise
and it is time for me to fly away

pushed through a white velvet hole in the sky.
clouds gently giving under my touch.
up through to blue, then darkness, stars all around.
round and round with a fireball.
suddenly, white all around.
i fall into my Father's arms and he holds me until
until the pain and despair of the world has crept from my soul.
i have forgotten and i am happy.