First Poem

pjfan85pjfan85 Posts: 124
edited April 2008 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
I've never written a poem and probably never will again. I threw this together while listening to the "Ongoing History of New Music". Tell me what you think, don't be afraid to say it sucks.

Is this a limited existence?
Is it just us here?
It's all because of your insistence
So don't show your fear
It'll make resistance stronger
they'll close the borders and man the air
the world won't last much longer
It's time to show your fear
It's not my fault the tide has risen
Ice caps melt and drown my sorrow
Sour honey turns to insense
You're tortured face really does seem listless
You're the spark that lights my fire
From up in the sky
to down in the ground
Don't tell me a lie
And you won't hear a sound
Try to turn it around
But, don't spoil it now
Don't fix it, 'cause it don't need fixing
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • in_hiding79in_hiding79 Posts: 4,315
    Sad, but very deep!! I really like it! ;)
    And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...,"
    "What a stupid lamb."
    "What a sick, masochistic lion."
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    really cool. i like the emotion.

    Why can I hear a voice freestyling this to a skat beat like Mike Myers in 'So I Married An Axe Murderer."
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
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    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • pjfan85pjfan85 Posts: 124
    Thanks, I think I'll write some more some time. It's really fun.
  • hey keep on writing!! believe in yourself ok? It's good i like it and I 'll waiting for more .....hugs
    "You're the eve of my destruction in the garden of fears"
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