Stones get the blues.
chadwick
up my ass Posts: 21,157
Lying in stillness overlapped weeping stones they do pour out rain’s saddened memories.
And rock garden veins are my tired old hands.
I sit in rain.
And rock garden veins are my tired old hands.
I sit in rain.
for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
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However, i would've just divided that first line abit. It kinna looses rhythm quickly
Lying in stillness
Overlapped, weeping stones
They do pour out rain's
Saddened memories
And rock garden veins
Are my tired old hands
I sit in rain
If it were just a little more cut-up like how i've down(not fucking with your writing, just an example) i think it would be really, really, really good.
Leaving the pillow alone tonight
And I can see for miles
Speak father with all your might
Drive in one last nail
I’d walk right into your hands
From the end of the earth
I’d make one final stand
If you could see what I’m worth