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Sandcastles, a lonely seagull, and me. (thinking of you)

chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
edited February 2008 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
As I sit here with sandcastles and a lonely seagull, an ocean away you are.
Horizons running into horizons running.
Passing through my air into horizons running.
Your name I call the soft sky, soft, so soft.
Felt outward from inside myself, you are magical touching waves.
Under the same sky, over the same land.
Take me down, down with the sun.
Down to the bottom.
Bottom of your heart.
Take me down.
for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Colors of MusidColors of Musid Posts: 55
    My wonderful High School Creative Writing Teacher said something like this; to be very careful when you repeat words in a poem. They will really draw the interest and their power should be acknowledged. I think you used this to good effect. It draws the interest into the middle of the poem then lets you relax after the tension before you are dropped off. Cool
    DO <> RE <> MI FA <> SOL <> LA <> SI DO
    1 <> 2 <> 3 4 <> 5 <> 6 <> 7 8
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