You decide.

chadwick
chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
edited March 2007 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
I can feel your breath spinning around me, ocean winds.
When sipping sea water, your kiss I taste.
Onward but inward splashing us down, in we fall.
Waves open our full eyes, your smile, my visual.
All we could walk, sandy shore, a treasure seashell, you.
Hand of stick pen, names slip down, belong of sand.
Flow strong, run away, you are waves, taker and giver.
Among horizon, two color, but your are closer to one painting.
All fade, your talking sea tongue captures my heart, kissing lips consuming.
Dancing currents dance, moonlit sundown tides, whisper touching deeply.
My sea lover, ours.
for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Nothingbetter
    Nothingbetter Wichita, KS Posts: 570
    I love the mix with the ocean, as that's what I equate to beauty and love as well. Love...washing over us.
    Kansas City 6/12/03 ** Kissimmee 10/9/04 ** Atlantic City 10/1/05 ** Denver 7/2/06 ** Denver 7/3/06 ** Chicago 8/23/09 ** Chicago 8/24/09 ** Kansas City 5/3/10 ** Dallas 11/15/13 ** Oklahoma City 11/16/13 ** St. Louis 10/3/14 ** Tulsa 10/8/14 ** Chicago - Wrigley Field 8/20/16 ** Chicago - Wrigley Field 8/22/16 ** Oklahoma City 9/20/22 ** Ft. Worth 9/15/23 ** Atlanta N2 5/1/25

    EV - St. Louis 7/1/11 ** Tulsa 11/19/12
  • Bu2
    Bu2 Posts: 1,693
    I can taste the ocean now. I like the style of this one, too. It's a little choppy, yet gorgeously fluid. Like the sea.
    Feels Good Inc.
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    I love reading things with emotional content like this. The words are kind of choppy, but it still brings the pink to my cheeks. :)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • Bu2
    Bu2 Posts: 1,693
    By choppy, I meant that each line has several thoughts in it, separated by commas. It's not choppy in a discordant way at all. It's more like a rocking motion whilst reading.
    Feels Good Inc.
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    among horizon, two color, but your are closer to one painting..
    um hello typo dude..

    among horizon, two color, but you are closer to one painting..
    speell chekc type oh dud..

    thank you for your compliments..
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • Bu2
    Bu2 Posts: 1,693
    I didn't even spot that!!
    Feels Good Inc.

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