Psychological Sodomy

eamonpatrickeamonpatrick Posts: 43
Ouch!

What it feels like to be mentally raped by the baseball bat of Babe Ruth.

Getting better after having written Mr. Vedder . . . don't know if he will see it, but it doesn't matter . . . it really is inconsequential.

In the past two weeks, I have lost so very much. It's difficult to think about, but I do feel as if I am getting stronger.

I have been psychologically stripped of everything I once had.

It hurts, but honesty will do that sometimes.

RADIOHEAD --> Awesome! For, I am a "Paranoid Android," as it were, and "You and Whose Army?" has now become my own personal fatwah, if you will.

Glass shattered . . . pictures, mementos and keepsakes . . . whatever! They are no longer. Yet, I feel stronger because of it.

I'm trying to "do good," yet those closest to me cannot seem to comprehend the fact that I AM FINE!

I feel Emerson sitting on my shoulder . . . guiding, directing and providing me with the self-sustaining wherewithal that is keeping me mentally stable, at least, temporarily.

I am 99% devoid of all human emotion except a mixture of anger and sadness. And, I despise that feeling, because to me that means I am depriving myself of my own free will.

I told my own mother about how liberated and free I feel from 30+ years of pent-up introversion, and her response:

"I (meaning her) am a mess!"

Really? Well, welcome to my world . . . the cruel world. (B. Harper)

Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me . . .Me a million times over.

Why does it seem that no one in my own family can allow me to be self-reliant?

My own brother read my sh*t when I was really going through it.

His incomprehensible, illogical, insane and reprehensible retort:

"I think you are reading too much" of the aforementioned author.

WOW! What a character kick in the proverbial penis that was!

I am now referring to him as Y.I.F. (You Ignorant F***).

God, do I hate suits, literally and figuratively.

As a result of his completely off-base, misguided and to me, malicious mind-set, I will soon be at Kadillac to have his inits tatted on the inside of my left wrist.

Just left Kadillac after speaking with Cosmo . . . enough said!

Great, great guy . . . and, you know why? He's honest, frank, blunt and to the point --> which is exactly where I wish I was. Anyway, he tatted me, and will treat it as if it were my own child.

Short-term memory restoring itself . . . Sweet! It feeds and fuels my fire.

Have at it, man and take your best shot; for, I have the wherewithal to withstand it all! but, be prepared to kill this bastard.

Because, I am at peace, and I am more than willing to pay the ultimate price.

If not, look out . . . 'cause IT will be a bumpy ride.

But, hey, if you're up for it . . . GIDDY UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"The legacy of Surrealism after 1968 must surely follow artists, writers, thinkers and activists who are committed to the power of the unconscious and to the imagination of other possible worlds."

- Alyce Mahon
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • EastofEdenEastofEden Posts: 75
    Is that more of a blog than poetry or prose? :D
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    So subtly is the fume of life designed
    to clarify the pulse and cloud the mind
    and leave us once again, undone.. possessed.

    ...
    Be yourself- those who mind dont matter
    and those who matter dont mind.
  • You're probably right. I've just been posting stuff from my journal . . . maybe, I should use more judgement before starting a new thread on this forum.
    "The legacy of Surrealism after 1968 must surely follow artists, writers, thinkers and activists who are committed to the power of the unconscious and to the imagination of other possible worlds."

    - Alyce Mahon
  • EastofEdenEastofEden Posts: 75
    You're probably right. I've just been posting stuff from my journal . . . maybe, I should use more judgement before starting a new thread on this forum.

    No, its fine.

    Im no forum Nazi, hate that.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    So subtly is the fume of life designed
    to clarify the pulse and cloud the mind
    and leave us once again, undone.. possessed.

    ...
    Be yourself- those who mind dont matter
    and those who matter dont mind.
  • I know, I get it. Sometimes sarcasm is not easily conveyed over the internet. Good, bad or indifferent . . . thanks for reading, and thanks for commenting. Your opinion is really nice to hear. I hope all is well with you and yours!
    "The legacy of Surrealism after 1968 must surely follow artists, writers, thinkers and activists who are committed to the power of the unconscious and to the imagination of other possible worlds."

    - Alyce Mahon
  • EastofEdenEastofEden Posts: 75
    I know, I get it. Sometimes sarcasm is not easily conveyed over the internet. Good, bad or indifferent . . . thanks for reading, and thanks for commenting. Your opinion is really nice to hear. I hope all is well with you and yours!

    I hate sarcasm.
    Its an intimacy barrier and a weapon of cowards .
    *end rant* :)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    So subtly is the fume of life designed
    to clarify the pulse and cloud the mind
    and leave us once again, undone.. possessed.

    ...
    Be yourself- those who mind dont matter
    and those who matter dont mind.
  • EastofEden wrote:
    I hate sarcasm.
    Its an intimacy barrier and a weapon of cowards .
    *end rant* :)
    well, if it wasn't sarcasm you weren't conveying.... then what was it? :D
    This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
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