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No cuts

TenJamTenJam Posts: 97
edited March 2007 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
First I have to say that this might be a little dark,
but it isn't a suicidal note. Thoughts are not acts!

Just wanted to share this with you, tell me what you think.

And because english isn't my language...
if there are any erros in writing, please let me know, thanks.
No cuts by TenJam

I will try, I will try.
Because my closest people say so.
There's still no room to breath,
all those yesterdays won't let me be.

I'm not crazy, but you said I am.
You made me like this, mom.
You made me worthless, mom.
You made me do this.

I'll die, I'll die.
No matter what people say.

I should be brave and strong,
fuck it, fuck you.
You didn't have cuts.
You didn't have cuts at all.

I apologize for not being
a better person.

I did try, I sure did try.
But I'll die.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    It's very evocative. And the emotion and intent reads as if it was an actual note, so I have to say well done! You captured that very well.

    You certainly wouldn't know that English is not your first language as the spelling all looks fine to me. Not that I was proof reading or anything. :)

    Now promise, it's just a poem please. :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • TenJamTenJam Posts: 97
    Thank you Jeanie for your thoughts :)

    It really isn't a s-note, I know that, and I'll promise.
    That's why I wrote that it isn't a suicidal note.

    I was little worried to post it, but I wanted to
    hear your thoughts, so I posted it.

    So thank you so much again, Jeanie :)
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    My pleasure tj. It's good work, keep it up. :)

    And thanks for promising! I'll hold you to that!! :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    yea i agree with jeanie..it reads like a real note full of sadness..well written
    and stuff..as i am not a proof reader..looks fine to me..like jeanie says,
    promise its not your true intentions, which you did already..thanks for sharing and please post more..curious tho, what is your first language, how many can you speak and understand?
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    chadwick wrote:
    ..curious tho, what is your first language, how many can you speak and understand?

    Thanks for asking that! I was curious to know that too, but too shy to ask! :o
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • TenJamTenJam Posts: 97
    chadwick wrote:
    curious tho, what is your first language, how many can you speak and understand?
    I was laughing out loud by myself here... :D

    My first one is Finnish, and Swedish is ok. I guess English too, if you can understand me ;)

    Then little bit Turkish, Spanish and German.
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    TenJam wrote:
    I was laughing out loud by myself here... :D

    My first one is Finnish, and Swedish is ok. I guess English too, if you can understand me ;)

    Then little bit Turkish, Spanish and German.

    Wow!!! That's really impressive. :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • memememe Posts: 4,695
    Made me think of "what you taught me put me here, don't come visit mother"

    I hope you are doing ok.
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • TenJamTenJam Posts: 97
    Thank you chadwick for your thoughts too :)
  • TenJamTenJam Posts: 97
    meme: that's one of my favorites

    Thanks :)
  • TenJamTenJam Posts: 97
    Btw, I added München to my sig so you really don't have to worry ;)
    It's going to be my first gig although I have been fan since Ten.

    My writings (and PJ of course) just help me to get through these days :)
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    TenJam wrote:
    Btw, I added München to my sig so you really don't have to worry ;)
    It's going to be my first gig although I have been fan since Ten.

    My writings (and PJ of course) just help me to get through these days :)

    Excellent!!! :D That is an excellent thing to be looking forward to tj! :)

    I count the sleeps from when I get the tix to the actual concert. :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    holy toledo..thats impressive knowing all those languages..that takes alot of brain cells..folks, shes brilliant..
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
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