White Lies

Coathanger Halos

Eyes closed
My face to the wall
I have nothing to give
But you want it all
Draw your knife
Bleed me dry
Leave me dangling from white lines
Again and again
Lover,
You were never my friend
My obsession,
My killer,
My means to an end
Reveal my destiny
Recount to me my shame
Sealed in tiny plastic bags
Naivety shall bear the blame
Scrape the pores until they're clean
Parasite
Suburbanite suicide machine
Child of beauty
Daddy's baby
Embodiment of innocence
Face of life's inequities
Wipe your tears on empty pages
Try to grasp these years I've wasted
Peel away at my disguise
Numb my lips with your white lies

madjack

This one hits home. I like the part of my lover my obession my killer. Been there before, its a bitch when the person you love the most becomes the person you start to hate the most. I trusted and believed in someone and it turned out they were there only to use and bleed me dry. Everything she tried to make me believe in turned out to be lies. I wasted years building the life she wanted so much only to have her destroy it and laugh as it crumbled down. I was almost to the point of her destroying me but fate came creeping in started opening my eyes, what was meant to destroy me only makes me stronger. Now I'm on track again and now her fate is nothing to me. Feelings I once had are gone and I've decided that I will love again. I will not let the past destroy my future, happiness this time will be true. Live and learn, some people are cold, some have no self, some things are brought into our lives to teach us. Now I can love a woman and not worry so much about trying to give her everything she wants, maybe this time i can enjoy recieveing a little.
I believe I'm a little less trusting but maybe thats the lesson I needed to be taught.

Coathanger Halos

I'm sorry for your hardships. Women can be horrendous. Believe me, it takes one to know one.
Recently, that interpretation has hit home for me too. It wasn't a boyfriend, but rather an old, good friend and a business partner who ended up screwing me over for a lot of money. I wasn't quite as upset about the money as I was about losing our friendship.

madjack

Maybe the root of all evil, Love and money. I'm learning to live without either.
Take care, I guess that person wasn't what you thought, a good friend. Sometimes I think I would be better off to become a heartless son of a bitch, but thats just not me. I'm more misunderstood than anything. Write back.

deadnote

i just wanna lay with you
you can cut me free
of anything

Coathanger Halos

madjack wrote:

Maybe the root of all evil, Love and money. I'm learning to live without either.
Take care, I guess that person wasn't what you thought, a good friend. Sometimes I think I would be better off to become a heartless son of a bitch, but thats just not me. I'm more misunderstood than anything. Write back.

I've tried to be apathetic and heartless as well...but I can't bring myself to do it. Some see it as a virtue; others see weakness. One has to be wary of those who percieve the latter.

However, I actually did not write this based directly on that subject...although interpretations can certainly vary.

asphalt

disputes end up only for three things ... and history has it clear ..
money, woman, land

in other words love and money, as u'r rightly said

i wonder if love exists the way we imagine it ... hearlessness is nothing but a state of numbness where you become more active as an individual. i gues it is not so wrong to live that way

can you live a life ....

without any expectations
without any wishlist
without any regret

live and learn

Coathanger Halos

In my mind, love is synonymous with "fear of loss". Perhaps that's only because I have never claimed to have experienced "true love."

I wrote this to be more closely linked to money, but about something that was more important to me than money and far more potent. It was an obsession which left me with a serious lack there of...and in a state much like a failed relationship.

madjack

I think I experienced true love but only for a fleeting moment in my not so forgotten pass. I loss it because of pass regrets that would not enable me show how much I cared. Many mistakes add up to my present tense, my fate I have created. I guess its the bitterness of the one left alone. I learn to accept and if true love never comes my way again, I have the memories of the time that it did. I can live with that.

Coathanger Halos

madjack wrote:

I think I experienced true love but only for a fleeting moment in my not so forgotten pass. I loss it because of pass regrets that would not enable me show how much I cared. Many mistakes add up to my present tense, my fate I have created. I guess its the bitterness of the one left alone. I learn to accept and if true love never comes my way again, I have the memories of the time that it did. I can live with that.

"Our pain is self-chosen." It's incredibly difficult to live with yourself after sabotaging every good opportunity you may have had. It's a vicious cycle that I haven't yet been able to escape.

asphalt

its said ..

regret is completely useless

'today' is your truth alone ... what you do today is what you are

stop mourning .. organise your life



i know i am talking too practically ... people find it dry ... but i guess i am only trying to achieve the ideal

madjack

I hope I'm not mourning, I believe I'm organized, some can learn to live without love and be fine. I'm becoming this type of person, although I'm not void of love I have my children, I'm just void of the type of love between man and woman. Life goes on no matter what.