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A .

BrainofdzBrainofdz Posts: 1,617
edited February 2007 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
You pass me buy and look on my face
To see what form I will take
Little do you realize that when we touch
you slip out of yourself and through me
You linger long even when your physical does not
I remember a time when I could've
let you in fully
Instead, I pry at myself far worse than I do to you
Maybe tonight you can take my thoughts
and make them disapear completely
Fearful of never being comforted by you again
Yet rarely letting you
Still through me you roam
Sometimes just for a few seconds
But out of me you never go
I never let you
"Stunned by my own reflection, It's looking back, sees me too clearly and I swore I'd never go there again, Not unlike a friend that politely drags you down,down,down"

When you see me on the street, yell out "FAVO!!!"

I've been to alot of Pearl Jam shows;So fucking what.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    i like this one. :)
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • moreandmoremoreandmore Posts: 164
    your grammar is so painful to read, i don't even wanna know what you're saying

    i don't mean to offend, honestly. though, i'm sure i do.

    how old are you and what grade are you in and are you a freelance dirtbag moonlighting as a student, or is this your life complete?

    i don't mind a typo here and there, but the word "buy" instead of "by" is pretty bad. i'm always looking for the MOMENT in a poem that's brand-new. pretty or not-so-pretty... just something new

    you got anything new?
  • BrainofdzBrainofdz Posts: 1,617
    moreandmore wrote:
    your grammar is so painful to read, i don't even wanna know what you're saying

    i don't mean to offend, honestly. though, i'm sure i do.

    how old are you and what grade are you in and are you a freelance dirtbag moonlighting as a student, or is this your life complete?

    i don't mind a typo here and there, but the word "buy" instead of "by" is pretty bad. i'm always looking for the MOMENT in a poem that's brand-new. pretty or not-so-pretty... just something new

    you got anything new?

    If you were any kind of writer you wouldn't be worried about a typo. Writing is about coveying emotion. The last thing on my mind was grammar when I was writing. And for you to assume you know anything about me is ridiculous.
    Get a fucking life asshole.
    "Stunned by my own reflection, It's looking back, sees me too clearly and I swore I'd never go there again, Not unlike a friend that politely drags you down,down,down"

    When you see me on the street, yell out "FAVO!!!"

    I've been to alot of Pearl Jam shows;So fucking what.
  • Bathgate66Bathgate66 Posts: 15,813
    moreandmore wrote:
    are you a freelance dirtbag moonlighting as a student, or is this your life complete?


    this is so un-pearl jam
    For the ones who had a notion, a notion deep inside
    That it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive
    platessmall.jpg
    ORGAN DONATION SAVES LIVES
    http://www.UNOS.org
    Donate Organs and Save a Life
  • PerceptualPerceptual Posts: 200
    I like. And moreandmore seems to be here only to put others down to compensate for his obvious insecurities.
    "this one, anytime I say love if you wanna say love, uh, say it, and if you say it you might as well say it loud, and if you don't feel like sayin' it, don't say it, but if you feel it, certainly say it..."

    NOTE: Everything I write in the P,P&M section are intended to be songs, not poetry.
  • moreandmoremoreandmore Posts: 164
    in PM...
    Brainofdz wrote:
    I certainly don't mind constructive criticism. However, you are an asshole. Being, that I haven't even seen you post your work, who the fuck are you to pass judgement on my age or education? I wouldn't even waste my time trying to shit on someone the way you did to me. If you sincerly were trying to be of help, you should rethink your strategy. You come off like a real jerk.

    you can look up my work if you're so inclined. not that it'd matter, cuz the purpose of most people writing on here is not to write, or to write well, but to affect other's sympathies. i couldn't give a rat's ass whether someone fucking cares about me in the aftermath... i told you i meant no offense. i also told you you'd be offended anyway. i'd apologize for failing to coddle your emotions, but as of yet, i'm only aware of 2 children that are actually mine.

    i could write a crit like that for 90% of the stuff posted here...

    this used to be a good site, with a lot of good writers... now it's a thumb suckers convention...

    and yeah... I happened to have a little free time yesterday. and you're the one calling yourself a freelance dirtbag in your bio...

    and... Pearl Jam has been all about challenging paradigm... I'm challenging the paradigm here. How is this so un-Pearl Jam?


    oh god... I'm so mean...
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