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This Old House

BrainofdzBrainofdz Posts: 1,617
edited April 2007 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Again the cycle repeated.
She screamed about his drinking,
and he called her a boring bitch.
To him, hers was the far greater offense.
It had a subtle stench of rot to it, he thought.
She lived for routine, and he for disorder.
They met in the middle when it came to drama,
their one common ground
besides hating the man who deserted them.
Just then a feeling of deja vu came over her,
but as usual she didn't pursue it
Was he just like his father?
The more he pondered the question,
the less he wanted to know its answer.
Dad was an inteligent man, but there was another side;
the fear, the furror, and the apathy
The overgrown boy decided to think no more on this today
as he opened a beer.
"Stunned by my own reflection, It's looking back, sees me too clearly and I swore I'd never go there again, Not unlike a friend that politely drags you down,down,down"

When you see me on the street, yell out "FAVO!!!"

I've been to alot of Pearl Jam shows;So fucking what.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    dude, youre awesome..thats bad ass.. good writing bud
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • oldermanolderman Posts: 1,765
    Brainofdz wrote:
    Again the cycle repeated.
    She screamed about his drinking,
    and he called her a boring bitch.
    To him, hers was the far greater offense.
    It had a subtle stench of rot to it, he thought.
    She lived for routine, and he for disorder.
    They met in the middle when it came to drama,
    their one common ground
    besides hating the man who deserted them.
    Just then a feeling of deja vu came over her,
    but as usual she didn't pursue it
    Was he just like his father?
    The more he pondered the question,
    the less he wanted to know its answer.
    Dad was an inteligent man, but there was another side;
    the fear, the furror, and the apathy
    The overgrown boy decided to think no more on this today
    as he opened a beer.

    this is damned good..

    my only edit suggestion would be 'fury' for furror.

    rock it
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    so so good.
    you just keep growing as a writer and i love it. :)
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • BrainofdzBrainofdz Posts: 1,617
    olderman wrote:
    this is damned good..

    my only edit suggestion would be 'fury' for furror.

    rock it

    I hear you on that one
    a bit too Nazi-Germany-ish
    "Stunned by my own reflection, It's looking back, sees me too clearly and I swore I'd never go there again, Not unlike a friend that politely drags you down,down,down"

    When you see me on the street, yell out "FAVO!!!"

    I've been to alot of Pearl Jam shows;So fucking what.
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    Brainofdz wrote:
    To him, hers was the far greater offense.
    It had a subtle stench of rot to it, he thought.

    This is perfect. :)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • BrainofdzBrainofdz Posts: 1,617
    Like a typical alcoholic
    he was an egomaniac, with an inferiority complex
    She realized that much
    but it was still hard to take
    He knew her complexes too
    and took dead aim on them
    Only when he went too far
    would he backpeddle into the mode of manipulative sweetness
    Was this how life was supposed to be?
    She knew the answer, but doubted
    she could go through with the execution of it
    And he knew this full and well
    He smiled his bastard smile
    as he took another sip
    "What the fuck is for diner anyway?"
    "Stunned by my own reflection, It's looking back, sees me too clearly and I swore I'd never go there again, Not unlike a friend that politely drags you down,down,down"

    When you see me on the street, yell out "FAVO!!!"

    I've been to alot of Pearl Jam shows;So fucking what.
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