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Post poems here

sachincsachinc Posts: 117
edited March 2008 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
There are loads of poeple writing their own poems seperately so why not have a thread to put them in?

Post Your poems or comment on others. How about marks out of 10 for each one?

Anyone can post the first poem...
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • AnnaMelindaAnnaMelinda Posts: 331
    sachinc wrote:
    There are loads of poeple writing their own poems seperately so why not have a thread to put them in?

    Post Your poems or comment on others. How about marks out of 10 for each one?

    Anyone can post the first poem...

    I like having each of my poems as their own thread. I like having the titles as the thread titles. I like it for me as well as for others. Sorry.

    And I hate to sound obnoxious so I apologize if I do but I see no other way to ask...

    Are you serious about a rating system? :confused:
    sometimes life don't leave you alone
  • sachincsachinc Posts: 117
    suppafreak wrote:
    I like having each of my poems as their own thread. I like having the titles as the thread titles. I like it for me as well as for others. Sorry.

    And I hate to sound obnoxious so I apologize if I do but I see no other way to ask...

    Are you serious about a rating system? :confused:

    Good point,

    However, loads of people's post's are ignored so it might help to have a way to get more people giving feedback.

    And a rating system could make more peole who instead of reading and then nothing else can just drop a score in.
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    Ok sach, well those are some interesting ideas and great if that's how you'd like it to be. Why don't you dedicate this thread to yourself and others that would like to be rated and the rest can continue as they have? :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • sachincsachinc Posts: 117
    Jeanie wrote:
    Ok sach, well those are some interesting ideas and great if that's how you'd like it to be. Why don't you dedicate this thread to yourself and others that would like to be rated and the rest can continue as they have? :)

    Fair enough.Oh well I might as well start the poems. This is a half finished experiment. Its called 'Free'

    Make it scream
    So I can't hear
    What they have to say to me.

    Let me fade
    Away again
    Let me leave this world behind.

    Slowly slip
    Far from here
    Never stop to think again.

    Steadily
    Catch my breath
    Paranoia grows inside.

    Drown it out
    Beat it back
    Set...me...free

    These things i should never hear
    Coming back to torture me.

    Set...me...free
    Set...me...free
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    That's ^ great. :) Really like it. I won't be scoring though coz it's not my thing but please post some more. :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • sachincsachinc Posts: 117
    Really? Cool, I have another somewhere but anyone else to post?
    Don't be shy...
  • AnnaMelindaAnnaMelinda Posts: 331
    sachinc wrote:

    loads of people's post's are ignored so it might help to have a way to get more people giving feedback.

    That's a really good point.

    I like the poem you just posted. I like it a lot. :)

    But I'm not big on the rating thing either.

    I'm sorry. :( :)
    sometimes life don't leave you alone
  • sachincsachinc Posts: 117
    I see why rating maybe isnt a good idea but as long as it gives people courage to post their art here than that can't be bad, right?

    I'm making this up as i go along:

    The third shot hung
    Slowly... slowly...
    confused and tired
    he feels unholy [lol bad rhyme]

    He drops and lets his tears
    Talk for him
    His last bullet still remains
    Just for him.

    It stalks him into fear
    If you beleive it WILL come true
    his hand is half his mind
    it speaks: 'Fuck you'

    A last act to finish it now
    A last act, to be unsung
    A last act he holds it close...
    The fourth shot hung
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    sachinc wrote:
    Really? Cool, I have another somewhere but anyone else to post?
    Don't be shy...

    Yeah, I don't write anymore and my work has vanished into obscurity where it belongs. :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • sachincsachinc Posts: 117
    Jeanie wrote:
    Yeah, I don't write anymore and my work has vanished into obscurity where it belongs. :)

    You can't say that! All of us can write, don't let your work go!

    Just think of something on the spot about anything.
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    sachinc wrote:
    You can't say that! All of us can write, don't let your work go!

    Just think of something on the spot about anything.

    I think what I'm thinking on the spot about most things is not really suitable for a forum. :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • sachincsachinc Posts: 117
    Jeanie wrote:
    I think what I'm thinking on the spot about most things is not really suitable for a forum. :)

    Fair enough,

    I just think someone needs to cheer up the thread as i tend 2 write depressing poems.
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    sachinc wrote:
    Fair enough,

    I just think someone needs to cheer up the thread as i tend 2 write depressing poems.

    :D Well if it makes you feel any better, I am finding your efforts very soothing. :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • sachincsachinc Posts: 117
    soothing?
  • AnnaMelindaAnnaMelinda Posts: 331
    sachinc wrote:

    I just think someone needs to cheer up the thread.

    Ha!

    Well that certainly wouldn't be me!

    :D
    sometimes life don't leave you alone
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    sachinc wrote:
    soothing?

    yup. you're saying what I'm thinking. it's nice. :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    suppafreak wrote:
    Ha!

    Well that certainly wouldn't be me!

    :D

    me either! :D
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • sachincsachinc Posts: 117
    This is the best i can come up with on the spot to uplift (this is really not my syle of poem)

    Run at the wind just to keep myself here
    A headrush like no other, pure joy
    Another day the same is fine by me
    I'll drift away to your gentle song

    Watch as others turn to hear
    This gentle song of happiness
    A lasting gust of contentment
    In a restless world

    I'll drift away to your gentle song
    As the falling leaves float down
    Adorned upon your your brow
    The everlasting crown.

    i can't write happy poems...
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    sachinc wrote:
    This is the best i can come up with on the spot to uplift (this is really not my syle of poem)

    Run at the wind just to keep myself here
    A headrush like no other, pure joy
    Another day the same is fine by me
    I'll drift away to your gentle song

    Watch as others turn to hear
    This gentle song of happiness
    A lasting gust of contentment
    In a restless world

    I'll drift away to your gentle song
    As the falling leaves float down
    Adorned upon your your brow
    The everlasting crown.

    i can't write happy poems...

    You're doing alright but you don't need to write happy if it's not how you're feeling you know. Just be in the moment I guess.
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    Oops! Damn edit button! :mad:

    I like that one ^ too. :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    sachinc wrote:
    There are loads of poeple writing their own poems seperately so why not have a thread to put them in?

    Post Your poems or comment on others. How about marks out of 10 for each one?

    Anyone can post the first poem...


    writing isnt about being scored.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    ... or being rated.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • theskyabovetheskyabove Posts: 77
    and, just because no one responds, it doesn't mean no one is reading...
    and besides, this whole part of the board is for writers.
  • sachincsachinc Posts: 117
    theskyabove wrote:
    and, just because no one responds, it doesn't mean no one is reading...
    and besides, this whole part of the board is for writers.

    OK rating is a bad idea, but its nice to have a way of getting feedback from the people who read the poems. You don't have to post poems, its purely optional...
  • AnnaMelindaAnnaMelinda Posts: 331
    sachinc wrote:
    OK rating is a bad idea, but its nice to have a way of getting feedback from the people who read the poems. You don't have to post poems, its purely optional...

    Yeah. I really don't there are many people (if any) who post their poetry in this public forum and do not appreciate when people tell them that they like their work.

    I read a lot but comment minimally. I'll try to post more...as...like I said... I know I really like the feedback. :)
    sometimes life don't leave you alone
  • CollinCollin Posts: 4,931
    No light shines on these vast green fields
    Solemnly grazing, the herd moves on
    Unaware of the cruelties revealed
    In these grounds life is drawn
    And under the meaningless skies
    -- below the birds who daintily rise and fall --
    Each flower, like each blissful moment, dies
    Time, never frozen, slowly crawls
    Slowly it takes away
    Fond and dear memories
    From a long cherished day
    As fallen leafs by a gentle breeze
    And in the wind’s fearsome cries
    We hear nature’s final call
    In which a painful truth lies;
    We are not big, but small
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


    naděje umírá poslední
  • sachincsachinc Posts: 117
    Collin wrote:
    No light shines on these vast green fields
    Solemnly grazing, the herd moves on
    Unaware of the cruelties revealed
    In these grounds life is drawn
    And under the meaningless skies
    -- below the birds who daintily rise and fall --
    Each flower, like each blissful moment, dies
    Time, never frozen, slowly crawls
    Slowly it takes away
    Fond and dear memories
    From a long cherished day
    As fallen leafs by a gentle breeze
    And in the wind’s fearsome cries
    We hear nature’s final call
    In which a painful truth lies;
    We are not big, but small

    Awesome :)
  • theskyabovetheskyabove Posts: 77
    suppafreak wrote:
    Yeah. I really don't there are many people (if any) who post their poetry in this public forum and do not appreciate when people tell them that they like their work.

    I read a lot but comment minimally. I'll try to post more...as...like I said... I know I really like the feedback. :)


    it's very nice when someone likes a poem you post, but what about the alternate scenario? when someone thinks it's NOT good... at all? is that person just a jerk, then? constructive criticism takes time and thought... ie: energy

    i did a highschool poetry critique, and i felt awful and was in dire need of a nap, afterward

    it's better to just take a class from a poet you admire if possible... then at least they're getting paid to do real work...

    otherwise, it's hard to tell someone what could be better in a piece of work, and at the end of the day, it's pretty dependent upon the person giving the critique's perspective

    someone whose emotions match those of your poem might really like the way you put how they feel into words... someone who's felt that way, but is way, way past it, might hate what you wrote. someone who's read a lot of really "good" poetry might think you're sophomoric, and someone who just started might think you're amazing

    i've found, the best way to get someone's opinion is to ask for it, personally. and even then... you gotta be careful what you wish for :)
  • sachincsachinc Posts: 117
    theskyabove wrote:
    it's very nice when someone likes a poem you post, but what about the alternate scenario? when someone thinks it's NOT good... at all? is that person just a jerk, then? constructive criticism takes time and thought... ie: energy

    i did a highschool poetry critique, and i felt awful and was in dire need of a nap, afterward

    it's better to just take a class from a poet you admire if possible... then at least they're getting paid to do real work...

    otherwise, it's hard to tell someone what could be better in a piece of work, and at the end of the day, it's pretty dependent upon the person giving the critique's perspective

    someone whose emotions match those of your poem might really like the way you put how they feel into words... someone who's felt that way, but is way, way past it, might hate what you wrote. someone who's read a lot of really "good" poetry might think you're sophomoric, and someone who just started might think you're amazing

    i've found, the best way to get someone's opinion is to ask for it, personally. and even then... you gotta be careful what you wish for :)

    Perfectly written...

    People need to know that some people, if any, respect their work.

    If constructive criticism is given it can help that person make their poems better, making the critic enjoy them as well.

    Like I said, well argued TheSkyAbove, Some valid points.
  • sachincsachinc Posts: 117
    Last man standing, he wonders out loud.
    Questioning all that he is, cogito ergo sum.
    Emotion is an instinct, from long dead times,
    He buries that last connection, to what he was.
    Days become fragments of his mind, broken.
    No one sees him, hears him, feels him, believes him.
    How can he die if he cannot live?
    He finds meaning at last. The answer, a paradox of thought.

    There is no answer.
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