The Downward Spiral

AnonAnon Posts: 11,175
edited March 2008 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
a sense of utter desolation,
gaping open space,
between my boyfriend and me,
emptiness and me,
confusion and decisions,
feelings hard to define,
and I say to myself,
just a little longer,

coldness surrounds me,
i am falling deeper,
into what I fear most,
as I reach out,
there is nothing there,
no longer warm and so loved,
it's all gone,
everything i have loved,
and I say to myself,
just a little longer,

the sun sets,
the light disappears,
families smiling, boyfriends waiting,
but not for me,
he's gone,
and my family betrayed me,
and I say to myself,
just a little longer,

now the sun has gone,
darkness and fear spreads its wings over me,
i see nothing so no one sees me,
feelings of emptiness only,
and I say to myself,
just a little longer,

people pass me by,
with questions in their eyes,
but they don't have a hope,
to help me,
they cannot see my pain,
too busy, with other thoughts,
they pass me by,
and I say to myself,
just a little longer,

the ground i'm standing on,
is the only thing holding me up,
even then I'm falling,
and i wonder,
why and how I got here,
without even knowing it,
yet no one notices,
as they didn't see before,
so I say to myself,
just a little longer,

pain, tension, depression,
fatigue,
anger, aggression, frustration.
all these unwanted sensations,
burning, hurting, tearing me apart,
I see his face, i crave his touch,
i know no other,
completely dependant on him,
i'm lost without him,
aimlessly wandering,
so i say to myself,
just a little longer

i need him, i love him,
i'm dying inside,
i can't make it without him,
please,
so i say to myself,
just a little longer,

i'm slowly giving in,
to finding a way out,
but as I battle with myself,
i'm losing the fight,
please,
so i say to myself,
just a little longer,

please, come back, take me home to you again.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • It saddens me to hear your pain. I joined the Message Pit after a few years of lurking but not contributing. I joined after seeing your post in the musicians and gearheads forum about your 57 custom b beauty. I was unable to convince you to sell it to me :).

    You briefly explained the reasons why. They touched me. I saw strength in you in the limited contact we had.
    Keep strong, the sun will shine again my friend.
  • oldermanolderman Posts: 1,765
    that's awesome Pj_Gurl

    honestly, very good :)
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • WindNoSailWindNoSail Posts: 580
    Hmmm, I haven't been able to be here much lately, but tonight I see your post, very good and I really like it, and I think I understand.

    Having a divorce in my midst, I know the pain (to some degree) you are feeling. You can't see IT now...but IT is there: a brighter day.

    PM if you wish. Take care.
    Pj_Gurl wrote:
    a sense of utter desolation,
    gaping open space,
    between my boyfriend and me,
    emptiness and me,
    confusion and decisions,
    feelings hard to define,
    and I say to myself,
    just a little longer,

    coldness surrounds me,
    i am falling deeper,
    into what I fear most,
    as I reach out,
    there is nothing there,
    no longer warm and so loved,
    it's all gone,
    everything i have loved,
    and I say to myself,
    just a little longer,

    the sun sets,
    the light disappears,
    families smiling, boyfriends waiting,
    but not for me,
    he's gone,
    and my family betrayed me,
    and I say to myself,
    just a little longer,

    now the sun has gone,
    darkness and fear spreads its wings over me,
    i see nothing so no one sees me,
    feelings of emptiness only,
    and I say to myself,
    just a little longer,

    people pass me by,
    with questions in their eyes,
    but they don't have a hope,
    to help me,
    they cannot see my pain,
    too busy, with other thoughts,
    they pass me by,
    and I say to myself,
    just a little longer,

    the ground i'm standing on,
    is the only thing holding me up,
    even then I'm falling,
    and i wonder,
    why and how I got here,
    without even knowing it,
    yet no one notices,
    as they didn't see before,
    so I say to myself,
    just a little longer,

    pain, tension, depression,
    fatigue,
    anger, aggression, frustration.
    all these unwanted sensations,
    burning, hurting, tearing me apart,
    I see his face, i crave his touch,
    i know no other,
    completely dependant on him,
    i'm lost without him,
    aimlessly wandering,
    so i say to myself,
    just a little longer

    i need him, i love him,
    i'm dying inside,
    i can't make it without him,
    please,
    so i say to myself,
    just a little longer,

    i'm slowly giving in,
    to finding a way out,
    but as I battle with myself,
    i'm losing the fight,
    please,
    so i say to myself,
    just a little longer,

    please, come back, take me home to you again.
    HOB 10.05.2005, E Rutherford 06.03.2006, The Gorge 07.22.2006, Lolla 08.05.2007, West Palm 06.11.2008, Tampa 06.12.2008, Columbia 06.16.2008, EV Memphis 06.20.2009, New Orleans 05.01.2010, Kansas City 05.03.2010
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