Turning the Tables

whispering hands

Shadows, slow and deadly creep in,
Faster and faster, I feel my head spin.
Til my secrets are all that's left within,
And my swiss cheese memory is solid again.

How hard can it be to see my own face?
It can't be any harder than running this race.
I cannot remember how I got to this place,
I just know these memories will break my pace.

You beg to know why my hatred runs deep,
Why it wells up so strong; it costs me sleep.
It saps my strenghth til I collapse in a heap,
Broken and battered til there's nothing to keep.

When the day starts anew, I cry and I moan,
One more day in Hell; a life lived alone.
The spelndors of love I have never known,
For I live in my head; a world all my own.

Why couldn't I be like all of those I see?
I'm sickened with envy of those who are free.
Why was it that broken was what I should be?
I told you before, III don't even want to "know" me!!

I have wasted my lifetime erasing all this,
Burying my past with shit and piss.
Ithought they were memories no one would miss,
But there's no longer room for ignorant bliss.

Buru

I understand the feelings in this poem, they are well expressed

however I think this line really detracts from it:
And my swiss cheese memory is solid again.
it just made me go huh? cheese?

it's too distracting, lol
in my humble opinion of course

whispering hands

it was in reference to burying the open spots in the memory.. like swiss cheese has holes.. so does the memory often times.. so, while it wa a bit out of charachter it does make sense. At least to me it does..:-) thanks for the input