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Against me

geniegenie Posts: 2,222
edited January 2007 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
It's the first time a start thread in this section. I'm not much of a poetry person, but i feel like i need to get some things of my chest. I'm from Russia, so maybe i will have some mistakes in the way i've written my poem. Anyway this poem is by me and it's called "Against me"

"Oh, why do why i feel this way, i'm changing
Yet what surrounds me
had remained the same,
How can i break free?
free of all this mysery,
i want to change my destiny.
I see them leaving.....
leaving me behind,
flashblacks crawling back,
she said few words,
they still trouble my mind
Hurt is in my heart,
when i'm reminded,
What she said was THE truth,
and i'm it's living proof.
Day after day i'll keep on fighting
for what she said,
must eventually be.......lie."

that's it, i know maybe it looks a bit unconventional. anyway feel free to give your opinions.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • BuruBuru Posts: 8,473
    It looks good, there are some minor mistakes
    I also do not write in my native language (which is spanish)

    I can sense your inner struggle when reading the poem
    so that is good.
    y la banda de Guille... cuando toca?
  • geniegenie Posts: 2,222
    Buru wrote:
    It looks good, there are some minor mistakes
    I also do not write in my native language (which is spanish)

    I can sense your inner struggle when reading the poem
    so that is good.

    thank you, i'm glad you liked it :)
  • yiorgisyiorgis Posts: 34
    it's good, i like that you use simple language and you try to be honest with your self.i am not a poet or a writer but i know that when it comes for writing we should always write true
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