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cry alone

PerceptualPerceptual Posts: 200
edited January 2007 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
"This one means a lot to me. Please don't treat it like the others."

the misery of vocal mimicry
is breaking waves at the foot of my bed
manipulating shadow puppetry
corroded signs outside my head
you love your conflict jumpsuit
cleanskin crows and midnight refinement
creating anew, new truth I'm defining

safety overthrown
a tree that grows from stone
inside a cluttered room
a shadow cast at noon
to find another way
a teardrop stains the day

imagery retreats so fast from me
hiding itself within hallways instead
triggering lines by half degree
whereupon a grown man fears to tread
you let your concern fade freely
green sin grows with passing refinement
creating anew, new truth I'm defining

in me a seed is sown
a tree that grows from stone
inside my cluttered room
a shadow cast at noon
to survive another day
a teardrop leads the way
"this one, anytime I say love if you wanna say love, uh, say it, and if you say it you might as well say it loud, and if you don't feel like sayin' it, don't say it, but if you feel it, certainly say it..."

NOTE: Everything I write in the P,P&M section are intended to be songs, not poetry.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • JamalJamal Posts: 2,115
    thought about setting this one to music? ;)

    Felt the urg to sing and scream as I read it
    I like the imagery you used here.
    Surf little waves big... Charge big waves hard

    - Antwerp '06, Nijmegen '07, Werchter '07
  • Astral StarAstral Star Posts: 129
    Nice candance and imagery. I agree with Jamal that it woudl make a good song!
    "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to eachother." Mother Theresa
  • PerceptualPerceptual Posts: 200
    Everything I do here are songs... granted I have not put any to music yet, but I write them as songs. Some I have a general tune for, but I'm not all that musical.
    I'm not a big fan of poetry, despite the fact I can win poetry competitions without even trying...
    "this one, anytime I say love if you wanna say love, uh, say it, and if you say it you might as well say it loud, and if you don't feel like sayin' it, don't say it, but if you feel it, certainly say it..."

    NOTE: Everything I write in the P,P&M section are intended to be songs, not poetry.
  • JamalJamal Posts: 2,115
    Astral Star wrote:
    Nice candance and imagery. I agree with Jamal that it woudl make a good song!
    first time I hear anyone use the word 'candance' on here...
    Have you ever taken Latin or other classic languages? Poetry courses maybe?

    Because that's exactly why i would make a great song.
    the cadance just fits, like in the old days (I'm talking "Roman era"-old, here):D
    Surf little waves big... Charge big waves hard

    - Antwerp '06, Nijmegen '07, Werchter '07
  • PerceptualPerceptual Posts: 200
    Hahahahaha... put it this way... I read your comment and thought: "What the hell does Cadence mean?"
    No, I've never done poetry courses... I just read it to myself and think "It's off one syllable" or whatever.

    And Latin? I'm not that smart.

    Anyway, I since looked up Cadence and figured it out, although I was pretty much onto it anyway. Thanks for your comments.
    Also, I've just renamed the song "teardrops fall astray" but I can't exactly edit it... darn.
    "this one, anytime I say love if you wanna say love, uh, say it, and if you say it you might as well say it loud, and if you don't feel like sayin' it, don't say it, but if you feel it, certainly say it..."

    NOTE: Everything I write in the P,P&M section are intended to be songs, not poetry.
  • Astral StarAstral Star Posts: 129
    Just an educated freak who has an overactive imagination
    "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to eachother." Mother Theresa
  • Astral StarAstral Star Posts: 129
    Opps I meant Candace type with the extra N
    "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to eachother." Mother Theresa
  • JamalJamal Posts: 2,115
    Astral Star wrote:
    Opps I meant Candace type with the extra N
    I meant cadence (kadans in dutch), but i have a nasty habit of copy-pasting things :D

    I'm lazy :p
    Surf little waves big... Charge big waves hard

    - Antwerp '06, Nijmegen '07, Werchter '07
  • Astral StarAstral Star Posts: 129
    If I drink more beer, it will all be forgotten heh heh
    "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to eachother." Mother Theresa
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