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hairtrigger

PerceptualPerceptual Posts: 200
edited April 2007 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
the evil thoughts
brewing in a sidearm
taking a chance as I'm tearing the buildings down
a screaming sport
for winning attention
lining you up and stopping to stem the thought

ten at a time
the trigger is too fine
you are my morning bread
come evening we'll be dead

our uneven court
all wrapped up in mylar
break the dead, they don't let the system down
find yourself caught
victim to a spider
that spun it's web at first inside your head

twelve at a time
the trigger is too fine
me and you and mine
I see it all the time
you are my morning bread
come evening we'll be dead
"this one, anytime I say love if you wanna say love, uh, say it, and if you say it you might as well say it loud, and if you don't feel like sayin' it, don't say it, but if you feel it, certainly say it..."

NOTE: Everything I write in the P,P&M section are intended to be songs, not poetry.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • korbykorby Posts: 298
    this dude has dark thoughts
    its ok
  • PerceptualPerceptual Posts: 200
    I don't have dark thoughts. This is just pointless crap that I thought sounded good. Turns out it is really really really really really shit.

    Sorry for wasting everyone's time, as usual.
    "this one, anytime I say love if you wanna say love, uh, say it, and if you say it you might as well say it loud, and if you don't feel like sayin' it, don't say it, but if you feel it, certainly say it..."

    NOTE: Everything I write in the P,P&M section are intended to be songs, not poetry.
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    oh a bleeding heart. don't go all morose on us. it was a dark poem. and it was also good.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    Perceptual wrote:
    the evil thoughts
    brewing in a sidearm
    taking a chance as I'm tearing the buildings down
    a screaming sport
    for winning attention
    lining you up and stopping to stem the thought

    ten at a time
    the trigger is too fine
    you are my morning bread
    come evening we'll be dead

    our uneven court
    all wrapped up in mylar
    break the dead, they don't let the system down
    find yourself caught
    victim to a spider
    that spun it's web at first inside your head

    twelve at a time
    the trigger is too fine
    me and you and mine
    I see it all the time
    you are my morning bread
    come evening we'll be dead

    very good.
    i do like this one.
    thank you for sharing it.
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • BrainofdzBrainofdz Posts: 1,617
    Perceptual wrote:
    I don't have dark thoughts. This is just pointless crap that I thought sounded good. Turns out it is really really really really really shit.

    Sorry for wasting everyone's time, as usual.

    Don't be like that Perceptual. I look foward to your posts for what its worth.
    I've been going through some serious writers block lately, and feeling like everything I try is shite, but I'm gonna keep plugging away anyway and I sincerly hope you do to.
    "Stunned by my own reflection, It's looking back, sees me too clearly and I swore I'd never go there again, Not unlike a friend that politely drags you down,down,down"

    When you see me on the street, yell out "FAVO!!!"

    I've been to alot of Pearl Jam shows;So fucking what.
  • PerceptualPerceptual Posts: 200
    Sorry all. I was in the worst mood last night. And Brainofdz, I know you like my stuff... Cat72 (S) told me so. :)

    Thanks for all the support everyone, but you have to realise that there are times when I can't see the worth in what I've written. It's like a novel I once wrote, encompassing 100 pages or so, and I realised later that it was absolute crap. Although I might check it out again and try to fix it. Needs more action for a start.
    "this one, anytime I say love if you wanna say love, uh, say it, and if you say it you might as well say it loud, and if you don't feel like sayin' it, don't say it, but if you feel it, certainly say it..."

    NOTE: Everything I write in the P,P&M section are intended to be songs, not poetry.
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    oh hey perceptual, we all get in those moods now and again. it can be beneficial to our writing. i think we all understood. :)
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
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