Home› Poetry, Prose, Music & Art

miracle of nothing

gue_bariumgue_barium Posts: 5,515
edited October 2007 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
mmm... don't need an edge, i've got myself...
what is sharp and straight and cuts the vein
brings... nothing at all.

relief is rising on the standard stage
a pauper has a moment, subdued by law
that there is no constitution
and we all stare,
thinking this is life
then those are saying
'act your age...'

unwind, regret, have a beer, two!
no time lost for things unsaid,
like curtains closing, conscience is a tool
for those that wend through time
apparent it is, remove, removed...

underneath it all, they say
are thoughts and dreams that we call faith
understand, though,
what is sharp and straight and straight and cuts the vein,
brings nothing at all.

nothing at all.
all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • gue_bariumgue_barium Posts: 5,515
    Wrote that in about five minutes, just now.

    I kind of like it. Sorry for the typo. Straight and straight.
    all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
    except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    gue_barium wrote:
    Wrote that in about five minutes, just now.

    I kind of like it. Sorry for the typo. Straight and straight.

    The repetition may have been a mistake, but it works like a stutter almost. :)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    I like it too, Gue!
  • BuruBuru Posts: 8,473
    gue_barium wrote:
    mmm... don't need an edge, i've got myself...
    what is sharp and straight and cuts the vein
    brings... nothing at all.

    relief is rising on the standard stage
    a pauper has a moment, subdued by law
    that there is no constitution
    and we all stare,
    thinking this is life
    then those are saying
    'act your age...'

    unwind, regret, have a beer, two!
    no time lost for things unsaid,
    like curtains closing, conscience is a tool
    for those that wend through time
    apparent it is, remove, removed...

    underneath it all, they say
    are thoughts and dreams that we call faith
    understand, though,
    what is sharp and straight and straight and cuts the vein,
    brings nothing at all.

    nothing at all.

    Nice work! Fantastic ending too.
    I particularly liked this part:

    relief is rising on the standard stage
    a pauper has a moment, subdued by law
    that there is no constitution
    and we all stare,
    thinking this is life

    but really, the whole of the poem flows really nicely.
    Me likes!
    y la banda de Guille... cuando toca?
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    gue_barium wrote:
    Wrote that in about five minutes, just now.

    I kind of like it. Sorry for the typo. Straight and straight.

    i kinda like it too. :)
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    to like do i ?
    i do, yes.
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • prismprism Posts: 2,440
    this is good....I like it :)
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    angels share laughter
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
  • gue_bariumgue_barium Posts: 5,515
    Thanks all.
    This is the first time I've read it since I wrote it that drunkin night.

    Its got a bombastic sort of thing going for it. Still okay.
    all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
    except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
Sign In or Register to comment.