I am a Child
CHANGEinWAVES
Posts: 10,169
I am a child of blonde hair, blue eyes and an innocent smile. A tomboy and a Daddy’s girl, I dance in the rain, play in the mud and just love my life… I am happy, plain and simple.
Now a schoolgirl who doesn’t fit in, my thoughts and ways are not what’s desired. And I’m too shy to let myself be known. But at home I’m still able to be me…and I’m happy there, it’s a comfort but I’m mostly alone.
Older now, things have changed around me. Though inside I’m dying to be that child, the free spirit, the one I know so well. I am instead the girl I think I should be, the one I don’t know... I fit in now...I think I am happy, and that will get me by.
I have come out of my shell, relationships have flourished and I’ve met the love to carry me thru my life. With him I can be the girl I think I remember, sadly though I have forgotten most of me. … I’m as happy as a memory can make you.
We’ve aged together and made mistakes along the way. We have strived for something others have wanted for us, denying what we needed. Moving further from who we really are….we keep telling ourselves this will get us to happiness.
A cloud cleared and we now see ourselves again…as clear as we can. Working hard to discover myself and himself we are losing “us”, but at this point “us” has been long gone….happiness is forced….but I avoid knowing… each unhappy and alone….but together.
He left admitting what I avoided knowing. Feeling dropped from the love that carried me so far, it took me a while to see I had been blindly walking most of the way….. feeling alone and as far from happy as one could possibly be.
If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t now be walking in my own direction. The more time away from him the further along my path I go. The further from him I am and the closer to me I’ll be….I am now the closest to true happiness since I was that child.
Now a schoolgirl who doesn’t fit in, my thoughts and ways are not what’s desired. And I’m too shy to let myself be known. But at home I’m still able to be me…and I’m happy there, it’s a comfort but I’m mostly alone.
Older now, things have changed around me. Though inside I’m dying to be that child, the free spirit, the one I know so well. I am instead the girl I think I should be, the one I don’t know... I fit in now...I think I am happy, and that will get me by.
I have come out of my shell, relationships have flourished and I’ve met the love to carry me thru my life. With him I can be the girl I think I remember, sadly though I have forgotten most of me. … I’m as happy as a memory can make you.
We’ve aged together and made mistakes along the way. We have strived for something others have wanted for us, denying what we needed. Moving further from who we really are….we keep telling ourselves this will get us to happiness.
A cloud cleared and we now see ourselves again…as clear as we can. Working hard to discover myself and himself we are losing “us”, but at this point “us” has been long gone….happiness is forced….but I avoid knowing… each unhappy and alone….but together.
He left admitting what I avoided knowing. Feeling dropped from the love that carried me so far, it took me a while to see I had been blindly walking most of the way….. feeling alone and as far from happy as one could possibly be.
If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t now be walking in my own direction. The more time away from him the further along my path I go. The further from him I am and the closer to me I’ll be….I am now the closest to true happiness since I was that child.
"I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
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Comments
dreamer in my dream
we got the guns
i love you,but im..............callin out.........callin out
I was very nervous to post this one, it's very open and honest...and hard for me to admit.
i for one are glad you did post this......i can relate to this story of yours......it seems we are in the same place....
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
I had NO idea 'I am a child' was a Neil Young song when I wrote this:o....oops.