accidental meltdown

CHANGEinWAVES

When next year rolls around
Where will I find myself
Who will be here

Asking these questions
Puts pressure on my future
And emptiness in my past

If today is a test
Do I pass for showing up
Or will a gold star suffice

Positive thoughts take work to create
Negativity comes so easily
And numbness resonates throughout

Expectations are high
But reality is known
The surprise is the disappointment

Untouched for days
And unwanted for months
Puts an aching on the soul

When will be my time
Will the clock tick for me
Does the calendar read my name

How do I break free
From all I know that is me
Can I only be happy when changed

Will no one accept who I am
I’ve never wanted to change
Now I think it’s inevitable so not to be alone