And it goes a little something like this...
foxymop_stupidmop
Posts: 159
Once upon a time there was a young lad with a big Secret. He awoke every day with the weight of this Secret pulling him down to the floor. No amount of joyful happenstance seemed to be able to lift that weight, so he carried it with him throughout the journey of life. As time progressed, things happened (as they do), and the harrowed boy who was now a man found himself at a crossroads.
Now, I could go on here to explain what this crossroads was and what events found him there, but I won't. More to the point, I cannot, for the facts of that are unknown to me. So I will just pick up where I can, try to keep up.
After the devastating decision that changed his life innumerably, the man said goodbye to his bowlegged wife, took the cookbook and the amulet, and set out into the night. He knew not the direction in which his quest would take him, only that he needed to find that seventh wormhole before Sister Marguerite did.
Again, the facts of this are escaping me, so I'm going to have to skip forward in the story to a place that I can remember. I sincerely apologize for my ineptitude, please bear with me.
With fists full of fire and a gut addled with trepidation, the man held his gun on Saul as though his life depended on it.
-In fact, his life did NOT depend on it, due to the fact that Saul was unarmed and quite frankly very confused as to the origin of the man's hostility. But I digress.-
So there he was, still with the gun, and he was pissed. "Saul," he said, "Saul, I suppose you're wondering what I'm doing here brandishing this firearm in your face and all, aren't you?"
"Yes," said Saul to the man, "as a matter of fact, I am."
"I am a man" said the man, "and I have experienced many a thing. I have lived through the loss of my wife, the bowlegged one, to another man while I was on a quest of the direst importance. I have traveled through time and space, and it was wonderful. I have brought peace to the masses and I have found Jesus. I have also found a new wife named Marguerite, and she's very beautiful, not a trace of bowlegged-ness. Together we have five children, and they are all independently enchanting. My life is great. I should be the happiest man in the world. But what should be, will never be, and for that, I blame you."
"Me?" Saul puzzled, "but what could I possibly have to do with your happiness, or lack thereof?"
"My heart, my spirit, my Soul is heavy, heavy with a weight that nothing and no one can lift." The man lamented. "I have carried through my life a Secret that has poisoned everything I see, the omission that has robbed me of peace."
"I am sorry for your troubles, my friend, but forgive me, I still don't see where the part about it being my fault comes into play." Saul said.
"You wouldn't know, would you? Of course not. I have been plagued by the truth for all of my years, it stalks me, entices me to come out and play. But I haven't. I uphold the Secret that was bequeathed unto me on the day of my birth and reiterated every day since, and lo, there you stand, fresh as a daisy, no sign of the inner turmoil that I have come to know as home on your unwrinkled face, you wretch!"
"Dude, I don't know what the fuck you are talking about, but you're really starting to freak me out. Tell me, of what Secret do you speak?" Saul demanded.
"'What Secret? what are you talking about? I'm so confused, you're freaking me out.'" the man said, mockingly of course. "I'll tell you what Secret, you pig. I'll fill you in on my burden, you sniveling dog. I'll tell you what no one should ever have to know. Maybe telling you will liberate me. Oh, sweet release, you beckon me. I will come, anon."
That's all I got.
P.S. Saul is his brother, that has to count for something.
Now, I could go on here to explain what this crossroads was and what events found him there, but I won't. More to the point, I cannot, for the facts of that are unknown to me. So I will just pick up where I can, try to keep up.
After the devastating decision that changed his life innumerably, the man said goodbye to his bowlegged wife, took the cookbook and the amulet, and set out into the night. He knew not the direction in which his quest would take him, only that he needed to find that seventh wormhole before Sister Marguerite did.
Again, the facts of this are escaping me, so I'm going to have to skip forward in the story to a place that I can remember. I sincerely apologize for my ineptitude, please bear with me.
With fists full of fire and a gut addled with trepidation, the man held his gun on Saul as though his life depended on it.
-In fact, his life did NOT depend on it, due to the fact that Saul was unarmed and quite frankly very confused as to the origin of the man's hostility. But I digress.-
So there he was, still with the gun, and he was pissed. "Saul," he said, "Saul, I suppose you're wondering what I'm doing here brandishing this firearm in your face and all, aren't you?"
"Yes," said Saul to the man, "as a matter of fact, I am."
"I am a man" said the man, "and I have experienced many a thing. I have lived through the loss of my wife, the bowlegged one, to another man while I was on a quest of the direst importance. I have traveled through time and space, and it was wonderful. I have brought peace to the masses and I have found Jesus. I have also found a new wife named Marguerite, and she's very beautiful, not a trace of bowlegged-ness. Together we have five children, and they are all independently enchanting. My life is great. I should be the happiest man in the world. But what should be, will never be, and for that, I blame you."
"Me?" Saul puzzled, "but what could I possibly have to do with your happiness, or lack thereof?"
"My heart, my spirit, my Soul is heavy, heavy with a weight that nothing and no one can lift." The man lamented. "I have carried through my life a Secret that has poisoned everything I see, the omission that has robbed me of peace."
"I am sorry for your troubles, my friend, but forgive me, I still don't see where the part about it being my fault comes into play." Saul said.
"You wouldn't know, would you? Of course not. I have been plagued by the truth for all of my years, it stalks me, entices me to come out and play. But I haven't. I uphold the Secret that was bequeathed unto me on the day of my birth and reiterated every day since, and lo, there you stand, fresh as a daisy, no sign of the inner turmoil that I have come to know as home on your unwrinkled face, you wretch!"
"Dude, I don't know what the fuck you are talking about, but you're really starting to freak me out. Tell me, of what Secret do you speak?" Saul demanded.
"'What Secret? what are you talking about? I'm so confused, you're freaking me out.'" the man said, mockingly of course. "I'll tell you what Secret, you pig. I'll fill you in on my burden, you sniveling dog. I'll tell you what no one should ever have to know. Maybe telling you will liberate me. Oh, sweet release, you beckon me. I will come, anon."
That's all I got.
P.S. Saul is his brother, that has to count for something.
Stop following me, I do not know where I am going.
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