Isle of Sentience

Jamal

Distant beaches, coconuts
Perfect nature of this earth
Sand like snow, but not as cold
Housing lime and passion fruits
Welcome to my Isle of Sentience

Violently you, beat it's shores
Unprecented water mass
You ripped apart my paradise
an left it laying to decay
(Goodbye, my Isle of Sentience)


Not my best one, but some of mother stuff is kinda 'top secret' and too personal(make me cry), no-one even knows I write ...

Jamal

Crap , ...

It should say "unprecedented water mass" ...
srry

Being Enlightened

I found this one interesting, Jamal. I like the use of the word sentience. In the first stanza, you begin to describe your concious, your beautiful isle...I wanted to know more of it before all sense of feeling was destroyed.

And now you've intrigued me as well---I'm very curious to see one of your more personal poems. Hmmm, I wonder if you'll warm to this place enough to share even just one of them with us ( I hope so! ).

Jamal

Thanks a lot...
Well, the more personal poems are, well ... personal .
My closest friends don't even know I write (only one does, and that's 'cuz I'm secretly still in love with her... we share lyrics and poems.)
I've never let her read one of them either... so it doesn't seem fair.

But one day, when I'm ready, you guys will be the first to hear/read them


Thanks for the many great replies you guys made.
really built up my self esteem concerning writing.

Big kisses to everyone