9/10/07
randaldoesjersey
Posts: 151
Upon a veil of burgundy hue
in words typed furiously
in thoughts scribbled aimlessly
in verse and prose and metered syllables
your eyes have their resonance
and their sparkle, flash;
brow furrowed in questions so easily forgot
and the cold earth under the limelight
soothes each throbbing "honey, how?"
and persuades...
to dissolve and dispose of
and unpack each worrysome burden
that weighs your head down so
for all their flashing lunacy is worth
and all their stuttering reluctances
add up to so much
skid marks on the ground
I will surrender there to your regard.
in words typed furiously
in thoughts scribbled aimlessly
in verse and prose and metered syllables
your eyes have their resonance
and their sparkle, flash;
brow furrowed in questions so easily forgot
and the cold earth under the limelight
soothes each throbbing "honey, how?"
and persuades...
to dissolve and dispose of
and unpack each worrysome burden
that weighs your head down so
for all their flashing lunacy is worth
and all their stuttering reluctances
add up to so much
skid marks on the ground
I will surrender there to your regard.
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
your sparkling eyes are angry aimless words on a red veil
you are confused and convinced to trash your lunatic eye's lunacy
you left and I could give a shit
while pleasing to read, and I mean that, I have no idea what you mean. the above is all the sense I could pull.
I think it's a poem about a poet reading what he's just written. Kind of.
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new worlds Eve...
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Not really. The more I read it the more I understand it.
I should have left it at the first read. I think it reads well, too.
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except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
i hope so. the green dot is lit on the name.
all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
My girlfriend is away on a trip to Sorrento, Italy. She's having the time of her life. We're on a high point in our relationship and considering taking the next step when she returns.
However, long nights of alcohol and fun and music have made her question whether she wants to take the next step or not.
She doesn't know whether she wants kids. She doesn't know what kind of life she wants. She's in her mid twenties and scared and confused and aimless as she felt when she was 17. It has a lot to do with her upbringing. It has a lot to do with her parents.
We discussed it last night, on IM, with webcams on. I could see her breaking down while she burdened herself down with these thoughts and the uncertainty and the sullen loneliness of feeling like there's something wrong with you because you can't come to grips with what you want in life.
The poem was written as soon as she got offline, and in that frame of mind. It attempted to be an invitation to "stop. breathe. live."
Second-guessing gets the best of us
Almost-double-post. stupid database problems.
LOL... If I was partying in Italy, there's no way I'd want to get tied down and start a family. No WAY... (I am tied down with family and such, too... so I really know.) I'd come home eventually and want to again... but while in it? No WAY.
My take is that she's in conflict because she doesn't want to get tied down and start a family (right now... d'uh) because she's having too much fun! And she wants to cry because she doesn't know how to want one thing and then change her mind with any autonomy (obligations are no thing to shape a life by). She should be nothing but free right now. These responsibilities are eternally life-altering, and should not be entered lightly. Any inkling to turn around and do something else should be heeded.
stop...
live...
breathe...
surrendering is quite the good idea
better yet... hop a plane and get wasted with her... telling her all the way, "whatever you want, baby"... girls love it when men say that
good luck
and btw, thanks for the details. like i said, it's a lovely read... i just didn't know what the poem itself had to say. in my own private mind, my translation isn't all that off, except to change the tense from "left" to "leave"
thanks again