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A poem for an empty room

ByrnzieByrnzie Posts: 21,037
edited January 2008 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
I carved a void into this world today
and stole from the Gods
that sheltered and blessed me
an unpayable debt
as big as time
and the reach of the stars

there's something missing now
that can never be replaced
a chance
a world
a love
a life

every breath a stolen breath
every smile a stolen smile
every tear a stolen tear

I sided with the tigers today
I banged a drum of war
I signed a dotted line
subtle and complicit
in the corridors of the souless and blind

and there will always be something missing now
without and within
a void who's end is no end
and that no words can begin
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • memememe Posts: 4,695
    Honestly, that is one of the most beautiful things I've read in this forum.
    It's beautiful in a jarring and haunting way.
    I understand you, and I didn't fully before. I am not sure that's what poems are for. It seems like you understand yourself, too. It's a good thing. Now you have to grow some true hope, perhaps.

    Good luck, and great job with words :)
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • Steve DunneSteve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    excellent mix here steve!!!
    I love to turn you on
  • chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    i can give you the words outstanding & excellent
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • deadnotedeadnote Posts: 1,678
    hopefully you can get that ought as art and move on with the blessing of adia
    set your laughter free

    dreamer in my dream

    we got the guns

    i love you,but im..............callin out.........callin out
  • LizardLizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    wow.
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • Steve DunneSteve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    steve - a great outlet for your situation...great work!!! sorry for the circumstances, but i know you're at peace with it.
    I love to turn you on
  • ByrnzieByrnzie Posts: 21,037
    Thanks for the kind words.
  • redrockredrock Posts: 18,341
    A remarkable way to express your emotions. I'm not good with things like that. Your poem brought tears to my eyes. xxx
  • brain of cbrain of c Posts: 5,213
    i'm so sorry.
    d'oh!!!!!!

    http://www.myspace.com/brain_of_c
  • prismprism Posts: 2,440
    that is truly beautiful. I admire the way that you were able to express such deep, complex feelings. it brought tears to my eyes as well.



    hang in there
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    angels share laughter
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
  • deadnothingbetterdeadnothingbetter Posts: 2,202
    Byrnzie wrote:
    I carved a void into this world today
    and stole from the Gods
    that sheltered and blessed me
    an unpayable debt
    as big as time
    and the reach of the stars

    there's something missing now
    that can never be replaced
    a chance
    a world
    a love
    a life

    every breath a stolen breath
    every smile a stolen smile
    every tear a stolen tear

    I sided with the tigers today
    I banged a drum of war
    I signed a dotted line
    subtle and complicit
    in the corridors of the souless and blind

    and there will always be something missing now
    without and within
    a void who's end is no end
    and that no words can begin
    this is probably now my favorite poem here on these posts.
    This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
  • chimechime Posts: 7,839
    Amazing B {{{hugs}}}
    So are we strangers now? Like rock and roll and the radio?
  • deadnothingbetterdeadnothingbetter Posts: 2,202
    Byrnzie wrote:
    I carved a void into this world today
    and stole from the Gods
    that sheltered and blessed me
    an unpayable debt
    as big as time
    and the reach of the stars

    there's something missing now
    that can never be replaced
    a chance
    a world
    a love
    a life

    every breath a stolen breath
    every smile a stolen smile
    every tear a stolen tear

    I sided with the tigers today
    I banged a drum of war
    I signed a dotted line
    subtle and complicit
    in the corridors of the souless and blind

    and there will always be something missing now
    without and within
    a void who's end is no end
    and that no words can begin
    just to let you know... don't write anything this good again on here. you're making me look bad. ;)
    This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
  • ByrnzieByrnzie Posts: 21,037
    deadnothingbetter wrote:
    just to let you know... don't write anything this good again on here. you're making me look bad. ;)

    I'll try not too. ;)

    To be honest, it normally takes me ages to spew one of these things out, but this one didn't really take any effort. I suppose sometimes the situation kind of takes over.
  • deadnothingbetterdeadnothingbetter Posts: 2,202
    Byrnzie wrote:
    I'll try not too. ;)

    To be honest, it normally takes me ages to spew one of these things out, but this one didn't really take any effort. I suppose sometimes the situation kind of takes over.
    yeah, well... it's really great. you should feel good about it.

    i like the words used to start it out... it's probably my favorite part. "i carved a void into this world today" kinda makes me wonder being taht you're in seoul, south korea... i'm assuming you're far from home. so it brought the thoughtthat maybe that line has some kinda connection to the fact. you know, from one end to the other... there's void on this side of earth as there is there. "without and within... a void who's end is no end." thanks for sharing.
    This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
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