dream or nightmare

deadnote

you tried to give me everything
just to get away
but i followed you
tresspassing through the fear
the music took over my heart
beating so intensely
and all my friends i thought were gone
walked along together
tresspassing through the fear

Jamal

I don't really know what to think of this.
I don't dislike it, but I really can't put my finger on what I miss, or whatever ... in it.

Sorry, like the choice of words and all, but you lose me somewhere along the line I guess.

deadnote

cool , thanks for relpying
i woke up from a dream
in the dream i was with chris weber and he was trying to give me a bunch of money and a bunch of coupons for the woman bar and i wouldnt leave him alone i just followed him around and then all of a sudden a bunch of hotties from high school were there and we were walking through back yards at midnight and then this halloween 1 type music started playing and i felt like i was on acid it was so scarey and so i woke up and wrote a poem and this poem does no justice to the one i wrote at home

bluejourneyman

Good dream analogy- I keep a note pad on my bed stand just for that.
I love your signature-it will be on my mind all day.

Jamal

deadnote wrote:

cool , thanks for relpying
i woke up from a dream
in the dream i was with chris weber and he was trying to give me a bunch of money and a bunch of coupons for the woman bar and i wouldnt leave him alone i just followed him around and then all of a sudden a bunch of hotties from high school were there and we were walking through back yards at midnight and then this halloween 1 type music started playing and i felt like i was on acid it was so scarey and so i woke up and wrote a poem and this poem does no justice to the one i wrote at home

I see, it's all becoming quite clear now;
you have great dreams, I usually can't remember mine