yet another piece of filler

deadnote

im just melting in midair
wish i could fall to the ground
like snow falling down
so soft and sound

im just like rain that doesnt fall
a storm called for
but only holds a view
so sad of a day

so wont ya give your hand
and i give mine
set an example
theres a place called heaven

moreandmore

i like this one, deadnote
the metaphors are all mixed up and slightly hard to follow here and there
but it begins to paint a picture...
a picture i'd not seen before

deadnote

thanks

thats the problem im having
i used to be able to write and not understand and not care if it made sense
now it seems i care a bunch if it makes sense
hence
the loss of innocence

i think i just need to read the dictionary with some poetry froma round here and some spiritual food book like the bible

thanks a lot

moreandmore

i'm in the same spot, in many ways
and i find it requires discipline that sometimes, i just don't wanna put fourth, dammit. (brain power I just might not have!) so i find that my off the cuff doggerel is utter shit... it's not even mystical anymore. i used to love my stuff... i thought i was da shit... and i was... just not in the way i thought

i think all you need is to read stuff that inspires you. not poetry, necessarily... just stuff that makes you tick. you'd also do well to read some good hard critique. http://www.poetryx.com offers some, though everyone's really busy and it's hard to get them to respond if your work is obviously in the first stages of writing.

yours isn't though. it's clear that you are out of that stage and moving into a new one.

i'll be reading

deadnote

i'll be looking for your stuff

thanks a bunch again