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Broken

smashsmash Posts: 4
edited December 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Ok here's a song I wrote, tell me what you think.

Broken

Death does not have a shadow
But you always run in the light
You hide among the demons
Your escape from home-made hell

Broken hearts
And torn up souls
Melancholy, ripping holes
Can't you tell me how it feels
Can't you show me what it's like
Behind the mind of the broken

I know their faith is only screams
And your hope's fallen down this hole
So you will just keep digging
To recover what you stole

Broken hearts
And torn up souls
Melancholy, ripping holes
Can't you tell me how it feels
Can't you show me what it's like
Behind the mind
Of the broken

If I could find my way inside your mind
Would all I see have lost all trust?
Tired from catching up, you've been left behind
Maybe it was us who wouldn't accept, us who couldn't see
Cause you were different from what we wanted you to be

Broken hearts
And torn up souls
Melancholy, ripping holes
Can't you tell me how it feels
Can't you show me what it's like
Behind the mind
Of the broken


Comments are appreciated :).
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    I think it's sad and I'm wondering if it's a ballad or something a little harder? Can ya tell us, please, please!!! :D And hey, I can't always get them to work but people post link to their recordings on here and you may wish to do that as well. :)

    "If I could find my way inside your mind
    Would all I see have lost all trust?
    Tired from catching up, you've been left behind
    Maybe it was us who wouldn't accept, us who couldn't see
    Cause you were different from what we wanted you to be    " - I really liked this part very much!
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • smashsmash Posts: 4
    Being Enlightened wrote:
    I think it's sad and I'm wondering if it's a ballad or something a little harder? Can ya tell us, please, please!!! :D And hey, I can't always get them to work but people post link to their recordings on here and you may wish to do that as well. :)

    "If I could find my way inside your mind
    Would all I see have lost all trust?
    Tired from catching up, you've been left behind
    Maybe it was us who wouldn't accept, us who couldn't see
    Cause you were different from what we wanted you to be    " - I really liked this part very much!
    Well it's not an acoustic song but it's not gonna be a really hard rock song, somewhere in the middle. I'm still working on the intsturmental actually and I don't have a wroking mic right now anyway. But yeah, thanks man.
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