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mirror reflection

justdannojustdanno Posts: 24
edited December 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
This is my frist post, so a few helpful hits on the poem would be greatly appreciated.

I stand behaind a mirror's reflection
The warped sunset sets upon my eyes
something so beautiful yet brings no comfort
I see through you she sings

How can someone I admire
be so mean
How can I be seen

The mirror's reflection doesn't see me
Its you I see
Something so beautiful yet so empty
I see through you she sings

How can someone I seek
be so indifferent
Why don't I see me

The dehumanizing mirror won't see me
the surreal moring sunrise awakens me
something so up lifting
take your prozac she sings
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Boom The CatBoom The Cat Posts: 482
    In short?

    You will do well here.
    no matter where you go,
    there you are.

    - brain of c
  • justdannojustdanno Posts: 24
    Thank you I'm happy to be here.
  • Boom The CatBoom The Cat Posts: 482
    Thats the stuff alot of people like here, I thought it was good too, keep it up!
    no matter where you go,
    there you are.

    - brain of c
  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    Good read! :)
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Here's a task. Could you contain all you've said here in a poem of only four lines? Have a go.
  • justdannojustdanno Posts: 24
    thanks I'll try that.
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