no comfort for the dying man (spur of enthusiasm again...)

yieldjames

ok. some of you requested another one, so here it is. this one is quite the sad one i'm afraid. a bit of a contrast to the previous one.

NO COMFORT FOR THE DYING MAN

the wind is cold against his brow
blowing away his memories, fleeing elsewhere
taps his foot to the tick of the clock
looks up, watches his last minutes slip away
sitting on a bench hard against his back
like a friend long gone as he was on himself
on a desolate platform reflecting his life
yet another moment seemed to be thrown away

and as he sat alone
there was no comfort for they dying man

hears steps on the side closing in
approaching tightly, standing next to him
the figure watching has no known shape
its words played in the tones of the violin
told to take the next arriving train
not needing a ticket to where he's going
on a one way trip through the days now passed
a regretful glance on time not meant to last

and as he embarked alone
there was no comfort for the dying man

gripping to his seat as his train departs
the only passenger on this trip, he realises
not far from where his platform ended
are more stations with other travellers waiting
as he sits on his ride his body fades away
seeing others on platforms of people and light
too late now as his train moves along
he wonders if he should be sad of the day he was born

and as his life was wasted
to be vain and alone
there was no comfort for the dying man

eMMI

I really like this one. it has a lot of feeling, which is good even if the feeling isn't happiness. a poem with no feeling at all, no emotion.. it leaves the reader cold too. but this one does not.

great job!