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A Poem ...

MaverickHatesGooseMaverickHatesGoose Posts: 1
edited February 2006 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
... I wrote this recently --it's pretty much shit, I guess:


you sicken me.
I want to vomit on your face,
watch it drip, seep into your sockets
moment after moment after moment.
And the children,
whose arms and legs
and heads,
precious, little unaware heads
have been blown, scattered:
I hope they vomit, too
(on everything you do)
as you pass money to merchants--
vomit-drenched dollars.
blood-covered credit cards.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    The idea is good but I think you may want to expand just a little. :) It's very angry and actually all the vomit talk really makes me feel how sickened and upset you are, so I like that, it makes me feel ill and so it should--I think that's what you were going for and you sure hit that up. I just feel like you have more to say that you didn't say here. Not shit, just unfinished (?) :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
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