Fluid...

Pszczółka MajaPszczółka Maja Posts: 4
edited November 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Hello from Poland!
I'm new here :-)
I would like to share one of my lyrics...all the lyrics I write are strongly inspired by ed lyrics...I'm from Poland and I learned english mainly by translating pearl jam songs...they are very important to me...from about 10 years ... I love the way ed write...poetry...stories...full of metaphores...
so please read....and tell me what do you think...does my lyrics somehow "talk" to you...?

so..

Fluid
music: Root | lyrics: M. Pacholski

So it's the day he passed the path alone
And took a way towards the sun
These very moment at 5 a.m. he couldn't wait and had to go
Now the shades are coming from afar
Still hear the voices in my head
I close my eyes so wide awake and let myself believe in God

Going down the way to the other side of our dreams
Sitting on the bed I can't recognize your breath
I took it on ma back, so my hands are full of sins
Broken like the wave, I will stand again someday

It's like a fluid from afar
So be aware, don't touch the flame
You see your face now in the mirror, you see the past that should have burned
I wave to you and say goodbye
The shade of red is not so strong
It is sad we all get to the light and we cannot stray in dark, not anymore

Going down the way to the other side of our dreams
Sitting on the bed I can't recognize your breath
I took it on ma back, so my hands are full of sins
Broken like the wave, I will stand again someday



if you want to, you can hear the song here(intro is a little bit too long I think;-) ):

http://www.rootband.band.pl/Muzyka/rootfluid.mp3

it's my band's song...
so...thanks...for you attention
Mark
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • The song is really clearly mixed, sounds very professional, post some more.

    It was a good listen.
  • as soon as we finish our new ep "amorphia" we will upload it here:
    http://www.rootband.band.pl/main.htm

    mp3 section

    By the way...WHAT ABOUT PEARL JAM EUROPEAN TOUR???????????
    WHEEEN ?????
    :-)
  • Good job!!! :) I really liked these lines:

    "Going down the way to the other side of our dreams
    Sitting on the bed I can't recognize your breath
    I took it on ma back, so my hands are full of sins
    Broken like the wave, I will stand again someday"

    I like the PJ reference of breath recognition and I like when people turn sins into something visual, that can be held and counted and such. Please do post more!!! :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • Thanks ! Soon:-)
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