Some lyrics....

Cropduster49Cropduster49 Posts: 102
edited February 2006 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
This world is madness.

For our thoughts and actions are as dry as the soil that which bares no fruit, and as pure as the serpents blood that which gives no life.
But the blood that gives us life.
The life that gives us choice.
Gives the choice to hold the hands of the fallen or the choice to hold our own.
And as we drift ever farther from our hearts, we abandon the light that once gleamed so brightly
And as we lose touch with love and compassion, the choice to shelter the forsaken becomes disremembered.

Mother the barren land, revive the soil that once bared life.
Purge the serpents blood from your veins and restore virtue within the heart.

Rally the dreamers and the faithful, for hope is not yet lost.

May the words from my tongue be cradled in the arms of wisdom, and may they not be drowned and forgotten.





Like it? Yes? No? Crappy?
I'm not really a writer, but I gave it a shot.
YOU CAN'T BE NEUTRAL ON A MOVING TRAIN.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Sheesh, for saying you're not a writer, you sure gave us some great words, Cropduster49! :) I love that you didn't leave us in dispair and with all hope lost. That you came back to "revive the soil", "purge the serpents blood", "rally the dreamer and the faithfull, for hope is not yet lost" and then the real kicker, "May the words from my tongue be cradled in the arms of wisdom, and may they not be drowned and forgotten." Daaaaamn, that's an awesome ending!!! Excellent for someone who says they're no writer--puh! You've given us a great piece, pointing out the bad but also reminding us of all the good and leaving us with hope in heart. :) Thank you!

    Now, the only thing I'd lose is the word "that", in 2 instances and here's what I mean:

    "For our thoughts and actions are as dry as the soil which bares no fruit, and as pure as the serpents blood which gives no life." --- lose the "that" and that line sounds much better, IMO. :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
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