one of many random rantings

*given*to*fly*

Riding this train for so long now, I can't seem to remember my own home
so fast it goes
from my window seat I see only blurred images of the world outside

the nights I feel comforted
I dance from car to car, familiar faces all around me, together we are bound by these same illusions, we are one with the universe, we are peace, we are tranquility, we are harmony, we are immortal...
...above all else we are undiscerning

the days I feel weak
my heart pounds, uncontrollably skipping off its normal rhythm, surely it will soon explode
my chest feels heavy, I struggle to breathe
im so tired, I just want to sleep, but the train is moving faster and faster... I have no time for rest

the nights now seem endless, my comfort turns into fear
I know my train will soon crash
I quietly wish for it to slow, so that I can jump off
I cannot do it alone
for once I jump I can never go back
another piece of me will be lost forever...but maybe its better left behind

I know some day I will feel comfort again, though it will be different, it will be safe
I know it will not come easy, I know it will not come soon
but I tell myself over and over that it will come
these tracks, on which I once felt safe , are now deceiving and traitorous
the train is speeding out of controle
last chance to jump
I take a deep breath and close my eyes
....................................................




..this is my first time EVER sharing anything iv written with anybody ...id really like some input tho ..please tell me what you think

EvilToasterElf

I once took a train from Budapest to Istanbul, thinking the ride was only 11 hours, I realized about three hours into the ride that it was actually closer to 61 hours. It's interesting how much a mind wanders on a train. Different than a car, because you have no control, and your trip is uninterrupted for the most part, different from a plane because you can't distance yourself from the world you're passing by. There's a unique meditative state on a long train ride.

I think you captured some of it. The key now, is to take the rant, and find something within it that you really felt. The most poingnant powerful feeling that made you write it in the first place. Then start with that, and keep writing about it. You have to dillute yourself sometimes to strengthen yourself.

Keep sharing.

ETE

*given*to*fly*

EvilToasterElf wrote:

I once took a train from Budapest to Istanbul, thinking the ride was only 11 hours, I realized about three hours into the ride that it was actually closer to 61 hours. It's interesting how much a mind wanders on a train. Different than a car, because you have no control, and your trip is uninterrupted for the most part, different from a plane because you can't distance yourself from the world you're passing by. There's a unique meditative state on a long train ride.

I think you captured some of it. The key now, is to take the rant, and find something within it that you really felt. The most poingnant powerful feeling that made you write it in the first place. Then start with that, and keep writing about it. You have to dillute yourself sometimes to strengthen yourself.

Keep sharing.

ETE

its not actually about a train....i think i chose to make it a train because i love taking the train places it calms me down

its actualy about addiction and overcoming it ....i dont know if anyone will be able to get that from it except me but thats why i usually dont share my writing is personal

thanx so much for your reply

EvilToasterElf

*given*to*fly* wrote:

its not actually about a train....i think i chose to make it a train because i love taking the train places it calms me down

its actualy about addiction and overcoming it ....i dont know if anyone will be able to get that from it except me but thats why i usually dont share my writing is personal

thanx so much for your reply

ah, well that's why when you write an alleghory - you usually hint at it's true nature with a title

*given*to*fly*

EvilToasterElf wrote:

ah, well that's why when you write an alleghory - you usually hint at it's true nature with a title

alleghory?

oh geeze i knew there was some reason i should have attended english class ... do i just need a hint in the title? cause it dosnt have one i could work something with that