A kid's music.
thunder_balls
Posts: 117
Well, here's a poem of mine. I guess, as I get older and stuff, I could probably improve, a lot. I have a lot more than this, but I guess this is some of the better lyrics of my crap. I've written about 10 songs, and lately I'm working more on the actual music. I'm gonna' go get a program to use on my computer,since I'm sick of writing, and erasing, and stuff. Anyways, here's my crap:
Push Me Down
Knife sitting by my door
keep putting me down you whore
what morale that was, is no more
it was always poor
Pouring from my head
why am I not dead?
It's true whatever was said
keep it up comes lead
Everytime I try
It's set aside to die
Nothing matters to and fro I
I put up, and must I why?
The world is wrong
pulling out a gun of dye
tell the sad song
and end the sorrow in blue
skin depressed in me and you
on top of a mountain
fall and see a fountain
filled with bleached blood of we
what you drank, came from me
couch lays brown hair,
never sit there,
comes from a boy with A
Depression shouldn't be shared
He, wants to be my
self
loathing guy
who will one day die,
alone
succes, to or A not prone
much to slow,
so down comes the mountain
ending it nicely for him
The World is wrong
pulling out a gun of dye
tell the sad song
and end the sorrow in blue
skin depressed in me and you
It would be nice,
if I could rise,
heart to beat with a stick
poetic verse in mind
but these choices I can't pick
so mountain help me die
press in gun and knife
with help from people with a life
Also, if anyone likes Jazz or Classical, or Latin music, here is my father's website, with many music files. "www.stanwatkins.net". Personally, I think I can write a decent song. But hey, I'm 12, so cut me a lil' slack please :-p Please tell me what you think of the lyrics. Anyone who listens to Pearl Jam should know what good lyrics are, so I can trust you guys I'm sure. Thanks for checkin' out the thread!
Push Me Down
Knife sitting by my door
keep putting me down you whore
what morale that was, is no more
it was always poor
Pouring from my head
why am I not dead?
It's true whatever was said
keep it up comes lead
Everytime I try
It's set aside to die
Nothing matters to and fro I
I put up, and must I why?
The world is wrong
pulling out a gun of dye
tell the sad song
and end the sorrow in blue
skin depressed in me and you
on top of a mountain
fall and see a fountain
filled with bleached blood of we
what you drank, came from me
couch lays brown hair,
never sit there,
comes from a boy with A
Depression shouldn't be shared
He, wants to be my
self
loathing guy
who will one day die,
alone
succes, to or A not prone
much to slow,
so down comes the mountain
ending it nicely for him
The World is wrong
pulling out a gun of dye
tell the sad song
and end the sorrow in blue
skin depressed in me and you
It would be nice,
if I could rise,
heart to beat with a stick
poetic verse in mind
but these choices I can't pick
so mountain help me die
press in gun and knife
with help from people with a life
Also, if anyone likes Jazz or Classical, or Latin music, here is my father's website, with many music files. "www.stanwatkins.net". Personally, I think I can write a decent song. But hey, I'm 12, so cut me a lil' slack please :-p Please tell me what you think of the lyrics. Anyone who listens to Pearl Jam should know what good lyrics are, so I can trust you guys I'm sure. Thanks for checkin' out the thread!
7/10/06
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
it does sound a little morbid though, but then again I remember writing a lot of morbid stuff when I was young.
I'd just like to say keep true to yourself, and stay out of trouble cos drugs and alcohol can waste your talent away. Besides that, I can't wait to hear what you write when you are older... this is rediculously good for a twelve year old.
just hope it's based more on musical and literary influence rather than life experience.
I wouldn't say you are pathetic at all. It sounds like someone really pissed you off. You just seem so young to have to go through something that makes you that angry.
I hope so. Goodluck to you! Things sound like they are hard for you.
Thanks, man. Things will get much better I'm sure. I dunno' what's wrong with my parents, but I'm fine. I try not to live angry, and painfully, so i just let it out in some crappy poem. Half of the time, if you try hard enough, you can end your own pain or depression...you just have to find strategies to do so. There are though, people much worse off than me...and I know this, so it makes me feel better...
Your poem is not crappy. You should continue to write, especially if it makes you feel better. Staying positive is important. I'm glad you know things will get better because they will.
well stated
And I won't make the same mistakes
(Because I know)
Because I know how much time that wastes
(And function)
Function is the key
I wasn't suggesting you were, mate
Well thank you. I think drugs can be incredibly stupid. Something better to get high on is music, imo. I know that, nowadays, well always if you think about it, drugs have been cool. But, that's kind of dumb. I don't see why...and you almost have something negative to say all the time, which is cool now. Stupid emo, making everyone think they're depressed, for dumb reasons, when they don't know what some people are actually going through...and making it all cool...and stupid emo for it's crappy music and lyrics too, haha. Also, thanks for sorta' talking with me about my problems, everyone else. All the nice comments kind of make me feel a lil' better about myself.
Are you seriously only 12? If so, this is awesome! The pen is indeed mightier than the sword and writing to purge is an amazing thing. Well done and keep it up.
I swear, and put it on my grandfather's grave that I am 12. I admit, I lied about my age to get onto this forum, but at least my age isn't too far-fetched (just 1 year, since you have to be 13 to register). But, thanks a lot. Comments mean a lot to me, wether they're helpfully criticising, or good.