Ruby Shaped Box

JRobertoJRoberto Posts: 24
edited November 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Ruby Shaped Box
**************

Laugh,
cough,

draw your hand lines in a paper leaf,
see where it points to,
if your heart fits in it,

like a ruby shaped box,
full of little hopes,
fooling around beliefs,
waiting for the days they'll grow into dreams,

and escape from the daily routine.

Dance,
Drop,

that glass half empty,
let it wash the ground on your feeth,
maybe then you'll see,

there's more in you,
than this alienation of life,
you pretend to be the cure,
while the broken glass draws cuts deeper than the skin.

Say what it feels like,
when that single tear drops,

say where you go,
when all the doors are shut,
when time sits with you at the dinner table,
and silence is the only word you two care to talk,

open up and let the cold flow remakes you.

kneel,
bleed,
feel,
love,

stand up and be reborn,

maybe you gathered enough,
to trully appreciate the sun,

when it pass,
not through the window,
but through your soul,

tomorrow,

say "welcome" ...


Julian R. Knihs
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • JRoberto wrote:
    draw your hand lines in a paper leaf,
    see where it points to,
    if your heart fits in it,

    like a ruby shaped box,
    full of little hopes,
    fooling around beliefs,
    waiting for the days they'll grow into dreams,

    and escape from the daily routine.

    I feel like this whole passage is so close to something pristine and powerful - but the wording is just a little off -

    If you haven't already done so - read this Out Loud to yourself - and look at it again

    Nice offering though - keep posting
  • Tks for the comments and head's up :)
  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    I liked it! Good read.
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    i like this too! :)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • twin2twin2 Posts: 894
    I have to agree. I like it as well.
  • The sun greets me and although it's cold outside, it's warmth touches my soul, makes me smile. :) To this dear, sweet sunkissed blessing, I offer the warmest greeting I could possibly ever offer, I say, "WELCOME!" :)

    Thanks for that, JRoberto! Your poem made me smile, inside and out. :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    I feel like this whole passage is so close to something pristine and powerful - but the wording is just a little off -

    If you haven't already done so - read this Out Loud to yourself - and look at it again

    Nice offering though - keep posting


    I agree... very close to superclean.
    There is a language difference, however, I assume?
  • Thanks to all the kind comments :)

    PastaNazi - the language difference, English is my second language, if it is what you meant.

    JRoberto
  • The sun greets me and although it's cold outside, it's warmth touches my soul, makes me smile. :) To this dear, sweet sunkissed blessing, I offer the warmest greeting I could possibly ever offer, I say, "WELCOME!"

    That was beautiful, thank you.

    JRoberto
  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    JRoberto wrote:
    Thanks to all the kind comments :)

    PastaNazi - the language difference, English is my second language, if it is what you meant.

    JRoberto

    you're getting critique cuz it's so good, jroberto...
    really

    did you write this in portuguese first?
  • PastaNazi wrote:
    you're getting critique cuz it's so good, jroberto...
    really

    did you write this in portuguese first?

    Nope. But I do writte poetry in portuguese as well :)

    JRoberto
  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    This is my favorite Brazilian song...
    tchaliz helped me with the translation (no, I don't speak Portuguese, sadly)
    but I think it's just beautiful.

    good work up there, though... I'll be reading.


    Rachel



    Berimbau

    (Baden Powell e Vinicius de Moraes)

    Quem é homem de bem não trai
    O amor que lhe quer seu bem
    Quem diz muito que vai, não vai
    Assim como não vai, não vem
    Quem de dentro de si não sai

    Vai morrer sem amar ninguém
    O dinheiro de quem não dá
    É o trabalho de quem não tem
    Capoeira que é bom não cai
    Mas se um dia ele cai, cai bem

    Capoeira me mandou dizer que já chegou
    Chegou para lutar

    Berimbau me confirmou vai ter briga de amor

    Tristeza, camará
  • PastaNazi wrote:
    This is my favorite Brazilian song...
    tchaliz helped me with the translation (no, I don't speak Portuguese, sadly)
    but I think it's just beautiful.

    good work up there, though... I'll be reading.


    Rachel

    This song is beautiful. I love bossanova, have loads of cds from Vinicius & Toquinho.

    I specially like "Chega de Saudade", which I'll adapt to you below :

    Enough with Longing
    ****************

    Go,
    go to her, my sadness,
    and tell her that without her,
    I cannot be,

    Ask her in a prayer,
    to be back,
    because I can't take this suffering,
    any longer than this,

    Enough with longing,
    truth is that,
    without her there is no peace,

    there is no beauty,
    only sadness and melancholy,
    that won't leave,
    it does not leave me,
    it does not,

    Ohh, and if she comes back,
    what a wonderful thing,
    what a crazy feeling,

    the sea can't hold as many fish,
    as the number of kisses I'll give in her rmouth,
    inside her arms,
    our hugs will be thousands,

    tied,
    together,
    glued like this,
    a thousand hugs and everlasting tenderness,

    so that I might stop this nonsense,
    of you wanting to live without me,

    I don't want to hear it anymore,
    this thing about you living without me,

    I don't want to know about it anymore,
    this thing of you wanting to live,

    without me.

    Words : Vinicius de Morais / Music : Toquinho & Vinicius
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