Here in hell

trinityeliza

Ye gods! the raptures of that night!
What fierce convulsions of delight!
How in each other's arms involved
We lay confounded and dissolved!
Bodies mingling, sexes blending,
Which should be most lost contending,
Darting fierce and flaming kisses,
Plunging into boundless blisses,
Our bodies and our souls on fire,
Tossed by a tempest of desire
Till with utmost fury driven
Down, at once, He sunk to heaven.
And left me here in hell.

CoffeeHound

less commas, and your ending couplet should be one sentence.

trinityeliza

I'm not out to write "formally" for u or anyone else,... I'll write in which ever pattern I choose, but thanx anyway.

trinityeliza

b.t.w.,... you are rude in your delivery.

CoffeeHound

trinityeliza wrote:

b.t.w.,... you are rude in your delivery.

You are rude in your post-whoring and board inundation. I'm just returning the favor. Also, if you can't handle criticism like a grown-up then don't post stuff in public places.

trinityeliza

You weren't critiquing my work,.. you were slamming me just like you do my pm box because u cannot handle the fact that there are no rules to make me put work and pieces in one thread when THEY AREN'T all related!!!! Are u a mod? NO. So, STOP sending me your rude letters or I'll send them to the mods.

electronblue

holey houndin' hell...~

depopulationINC

trinityeliza wrote:

You weren't critiquing my work,.. you were slamming me just like you do my pm box because u cannot handle the fact that there are no rules to make me put work and pieces in one thread when THEY AREN'T all related!!!! Are u a mod? NO. So, STOP sending me your rude letters or I'll send them to the mods.

I have to say that your writings are actually somewhat related as they are generally 'love' poems, not all I realise, but a good number, but whatever. And I would like to add that I took CoffeeHound's post as constructive, not destructive like you are indicating. this is an open forum, and he/she was not being rude, just giving an opinion. I have taken some slams and compliments here, and try to take it all in stride. I to post here for fun, not to be 'reccognized' or anything, but as I have stated many times in the past, I am always open to suggestion, to perhaps help me grow/improve. I have had suggestions posted and PMed. I am fine with either. And finally, any type of feedback is better than none at all. if nobody posts a reply do you assume it is a weak piece? I am not saying that people should totally smash down a piece, if you hate it....maybe leave it be....but generally speaking I think most people in this forum are polite and considerate.

velvet I site

i think we should all have a huge bon-fire and settle it there... or just get drunk and forget about it...

either way the cause isn't worth dying over...

i mean fuck, it isn't like we're stuck in vietnam or anything like that that....:/