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In My Mind

depopulationINCdepopulationINC Posts: 2,074
edited December 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Mind strays
Pounding of the endless thought
Mind sways
Piercing contemplation
Providing memories of ways you should have waned
Mind stays
Conclusion
Causing reflection
Bitterly, never ending thought

Sometimes
You dig a little deeper
Sometimes
Just to find a bigger hole
But now
You know there’s no stopping
Curiosity to rule your world
Look back
See it all in front of you
Look back
Wait there’s something that you just don’t know

When your mind starts running
Will you lead it
Or give in to follow away
When you stop to think
Do you pursue
Instinct seems to lead you astray
Set your mind
Line it up in a row
Set your mind
Scurried thoughts
Make those thoughts
Vacate you to a hollow

Everyplace my mind roams
Its seems to me
It seems it can not find a home
With everywhere that my mind has come to roam
I deem to see
It’s deemed it still has not grown

Where now
Where will My mind look next
It looks too the grounds
And searches the sky
Where now
Where will my mind next stray
It searches all souls
But never within
When or where
Do you think it might begin

Everyplace my mind roams
Its seems to me
It seems it can not find a home
With everywhere that my mind has come to roam
I deem to see
It’s deemed it still has not grown

With my mind
Finding no conclusions
Trapped in the vast
Search for something a bit more narrow

With my mind
Bypassing no delusions
Fall for all
Vision seen
Or just another illusion

Mirage beset
Clarity come fantasy
See with eyes
Mind insets
Fetching me confusion

Still I pass
The time goes on by endlessly
Fear the void
Partial visions
Seen no more vividly
Happy smile
Brings upon my frown
Pointless probing
Driving my obscurity
Relentless search
Nothing giving lucidity
The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

And I won't make the same mistakes
(Because I know)
Because I know how much time that wastes
(And function)
Function is the key
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    depopulationINC wrote:
    When you stop to think
    Do you pursue
    Instinct seems to lead you astray

    Where will my mind next stray
    It searches all souls
    But never within
    When or where
    Do you think it might begin

    With my mind
    Finding no conclusions
    Trapped in the vast
    Search for something a bit more narrow

    Good read depop. I like the lines above the best. Seem to be really searching for something with no answers. Perhaps pondering the same question or experience over and over. I certainly have done that plenty.
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • depopulationINCdepopulationINC Posts: 2,074
    twin1 wrote:
    depopulationINC wrote:
    When you stop to think
    Do you pursue
    Instinct seems to lead you astray

    Where will my mind next stray
    It searches all souls
    But never within
    When or where
    Do you think it might begin

    With my mind
    Finding no conclusions
    Trapped in the vast
    Search for something a bit more narrow

    Good read depop. I like the lines above the best. Seem to be really searching for something with no answers. Perhaps pondering the same question or experience over and over. I certainly have done that plenty.


    been doing that alot lately

    I have some huge life changing choices to make. It sucks having options sometimes
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    depopulationINC wrote:
    twin1 wrote:
    been doing that alot lately

    I have some huge life changing choices to make. It sucks having options sometimes


    You would rather not have options? Yes I would have to agree life changing choices are very difficult sometimes and require a great deal of thought. I have had more of that than my share this year and probably next year as well since they seem to have a domino affect, I have empathy for you. Every decision has pros and cons. I do hope that it all works out for you though! :)
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • depopulationINCdepopulationINC Posts: 2,074
    twin1 wrote:
    depopulationINC wrote:


    You would rather not have options? Yes I would have to agree life changing choices are very difficult sometimes and require a great deal of thought. I have had more of that than my share this year and probably next year as well since they seem to have a domino affect, I have empathy for you. Every decision has pros and cons. I do hope that it all works out for you though! :)

    thanks

    My biggest thing is I got a job offer. It is about a fifth of what I make now, but it is 40hrs a week, tripple time ot, and near my family

    I have a great thing going now, but it is also a great opportunity. It is a great job, but do I walk away from the success I have built here. It is mind warping.

    idunno
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    depopulationINC wrote:
    twin1 wrote:

    thanks

    My biggest thing is I got a job offer. It is about a fifth of what I make now, but it is 40hrs a week, tripple time ot, and near my family

    I have a great thing going now, but it is also a great opportunity. It is a great job, but do I walk away from the success I have built here. It is mind warping.

    idunno

    Hmm...with that I guess you need to ask yourself what your main priorities are. You sound like a workaholic, sorry! :o) Would you be working less and be able to spend more time with your family? You really have to weigh the pros and cons with it and get down to your motives and priorities. What is the most important thing to you? Money? Success? Family? What comes first? It depends on your definition of success also, what does success mean to you? Sometimes we get comfortable also and don't want to change, but change can actually be good. Those are all questions I had to ask myself with my decisions, getting back to basics. It does require alot of thought and soul searching. BTW, congratulations on your job offer! :)
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • depopulationINCdepopulationINC Posts: 2,074
    twin1 wrote:
    depopulationINC wrote:

    Hmm...with that I guess you need to ask yourself what your main priorities are. You sound like a workaholic, sorry! :o) Would you be working less and be able to spend more time with your family? You really have to weigh the pros and cons with it and get down to your motives and priorities. What is the most important thing to you? Money? Success? Family? What comes first? It depends on your definition of success also, what does success mean to you? Sometimes we get comfortable also and don't want to change, but change can actually be good. Those are all questions I had to ask myself with my decisions, getting back to basics. It does require alot of thought and soul searching. BTW, congratulations on your job offer! :)

    thanks...

    see, the problem is, I realize all that you are saying. And I keep sorting through all that, to no conclusion. Family has always been important. But I a) don't really like the place I grew up anymore, b) my family has talked about moving my way for better job opportunity and a warmer climate, c) can't deny that having lots of coin rolling in is "swell"
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    depopulationINC wrote:
    twin1 wrote:

    thanks...

    see, the problem is, I realize all that you are saying. And I keep sorting through all that, to no conclusion. Family has always been important. But I a) don't really like the place I grew up anymore, b) my family has talked about moving my way for better job opportunity and a warmer climate, c) can't deny that having lots of coin rolling in is "swell"

    some more thoughts...
    a) if you don't like that place, don't move there...I love my parents dearly but I will never live in that area again, it is too unsafe and there is no way I am having my kids raised there so I just visit...you work hard for your money, don't put yourself in an environment you don't like if there is no good reason to and you actually have a choice.
    b) wait, aren't you in Canada? is it EVER warm there? oh, sorry...I digress...how realistic is it your family will move your way? Is it talk or do they mean it? If you think it is just talk how much does that affect your decision?
    c) yes, coin can be quite a motivator, "the root of all evil" - can't live without it, everyone has to survive. Is that your MAIN motivator?
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • depopulationINCdepopulationINC Posts: 2,074
    twin1 wrote:
    depopulationINC wrote:

    some more thoughts...
    a) if you don't like that place, don't move there...I love my parents dearly but I will never live in that area again, it is too unsafe and there is no way I am having my kids raised there so I just visit...you work hard for your money, don't put yourself in an environment you don't like if there is no good reason to and you actually have a choice.
    b) wait, aren't you in Canada? is it EVER warm there? oh, sorry...I digress...how realistic is it your family will move your way? Is it talk or do they mean it? If you think it is just talk how much does that affect your decision?
    c) yes, coin can be quite a motivator, "the root of all evil" - can't live without it, everyone has to survive. Is that your MAIN motivator?

    c) Yes and no...I am not greedy, but I want to retire young
    b) There are a few nice areas...no snow anyways
    a) this is a hard issue for me. Yes, they may move this way, it has been talked about. will it happen? who knows.
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    depopulationINC wrote:
    twin1 wrote:

    c) Yes and no...I am not greedy, but I want to retire young
    b) There are a few nice areas...no snow anyways
    a) this is a hard issue for me. Yes, they may move this way, it has been talked about. will it happen? who knows.

    Yes, I can see how this is really weighing heavy on you. Good for you if you can retire young, that is wonderful! It sounds like the family part of it is bothering you the most. What does your gutt tell you about it? Do you get an instinct for one decision more than the other, where it just feels more "right"? Put logic aside. Would you feel guilty if you chose to stay where you are like you would dissapoint family? I have had to think about this stuff before so I understand your distress. It is alot to think about.
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • depopulationINCdepopulationINC Posts: 2,074
    twin1 wrote:
    depopulationINC wrote:

    Yes, I can see how this is really weighing heavy on you. Good for you if you can retire young, that is wonderful! It sounds like the family part of it is bothering you the most. What does your gutt tell you about it? Do you get an instinct for one decision more than the other, where it just feels more "right"? Put logic aside. Would you feel guilty if you chose to stay where you are like you would dissapoint family? I have had to think about this stuff before so I understand your distress. It is alot to think about.


    hmm...that is a good way of looking at it. thanks.
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • depopulationINCdepopulationINC Posts: 2,074
    perhaps the best answer is to get straight messed for a week, until I have to give them my decision. Then, when I call, Whatever I say will be what it is...yes or noe...

    I like this strategy
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    depopulationINC wrote:
    twin1 wrote:


    hmm...that is a good way of looking at it. thanks.


    I hope that does help depop, I really do empathize with you on this. Sometimes you have to separate logic and feeling to get an answer, it did wind up helping me on the toughest decision I had to make...good luck to you...I'd love to know what you decide! :)
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    depopulationINC wrote:
    perhaps the best answer is to get straight messed for a week, until I have to give them my decision. Then, when I call, Whatever I say will be what it is...yes or noe...

    I like this strategy

    What is "straight messed" for a week? Is that drunk? Oh, that is a terrible way to make an important decision! :) No hiding! Your strategy bites Mr.! :)

    BTW -- I should charge you for my psychoanalysis... :):)
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • depopulationINCdepopulationINC Posts: 2,074
    twin1 wrote:
    What is "straight messed" for a week? Is that drunk? Oh, that is a terrible way to make an important decision! :) No hiding! Your strategy bites Mr.! :)

    AHHHH BEER....the cause, AND, solution to all the world's problems!

    twin1 wrote:
    Your strategy bites Mr.! :)

    I especially love that part
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    depopulationINC wrote:
    AHHHH BEER....the cause, AND, solution to all the world's problems!

    I especially love that part

    Beer bites too....
    I jus' calls it how I sees it! :):)
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • depopulationINCdepopulationINC Posts: 2,074
    twin1 wrote:
    Beer bites too....
    I jus' calls it how I sees it! :):)


    you make a valid argument...beer is not strong enough
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    depopulationINC wrote:
    you make a valid argument...beer is not strong enough

    Oh no! Oh no! Bad depop! Brain cells like to live! :)
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • depopulationINCdepopulationINC Posts: 2,074
    twin1 wrote:
    Oh no! Oh no! Bad depop! Brain cells like to live! :)

    Bad brain cells! They made me think! :)
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    depopulationINC wrote:
    Bad brain cells! They made me think! :)

    Yeah, I think you should be locked up alright for having to think, it is a crime don't ya' know! :)
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • depopulationINCdepopulationINC Posts: 2,074
    twin1 wrote:
    Yeah, I think you should be locked up alright for having to think, it is a crime don't ya' know! :)


    I hate thinking. If I could manage to stop, I could run for office!
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    depopulationINC wrote:
    I hate thinking. If I could manage to stop, I could run for office!

    Ooohhh!! Yes, you would make a fine politician with no brain cells, keep drinking if that is your goal! :)
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • depopulationINCdepopulationINC Posts: 2,074
    twin1 wrote:
    Ooohhh!! Yes, you would make a fine politician with no brain cells, keep drinking if that is your goal! :)

    I ain't kissing babies though!


    I am going to go after the moms! :)
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    depopulationINC wrote:
    I ain't kissing babies though!


    I am going to go after the moms! :)

    Awwhhh! Babies are safer - even if they talk back, you can't understand them. :) BTW - spoken like a true politician, that is what interns are for... :)
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • depopulationINCdepopulationINC Posts: 2,074
    twin1 wrote:
    Awwhhh! Babies are safer - even if they talk back, you can't understand them. :) BTW - spoken like a true politician, that is what interns are for... :)

    yes, and as a busy polition surely I will require 2 or 3 interns. Now, I am a giving man. I will give new collage graduates the job opportunity.

    :)

    T1, I like where you are going with this!

    I'm sold!

    (and buy the way....speaking of 'sold'.....I will be easily bribed)
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    depopulationINC wrote:
    yes, and as a busy polition surely I will require 2 or 3 interns. Now, I am a giving man. I will give new collage graduates the job opportunity.

    :)

    T1, I like where you are going with this!

    I'm sold!

    (and buy the way....speaking of 'sold'.....I will be easily bribed)

    Oh what a generous guy you are! Only 2 or 3? At least with your position and cash flow, get some pretty ones, you can afford to be picky depending upon their use. Sold AND bribed?! You would make a fine politician Mr. - I'd vote for ya'! :):) btw - do you smile pretty and lie well? Gotta have that too... :)
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • depopulationINCdepopulationINC Posts: 2,074
    twin1 wrote:
    Oh what a generous guy you are! Only 2 or 3? At least with your position and cash flow, get some pretty ones, you can afford to be picky depending upon their use. Sold AND bribed?! You would make a fine politician Mr. - I'd vote for ya'! :):) btw - do you smile pretty and lie well? Gotta have that too... :)


    I can work on the lies, and hey.....botox (sp)
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
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