Rich Man

twin1

A rich man cried...lost his dog,
all he had besides money...held his heart,

Many came to console him,
their motives were for his wealth,
this friendship would benefit them much,
how their pockets could be lined,

Some passed by with crossed arms,
I have endured much worse, suck it up...be a man,
men don't cry, what a weakling,
We all have had to suffer, so must you,

The traditionalist said how sad but he's a sinner,
we have no time for him,
let's put him in our prayers,
it's not big enough for my brownie points,
someone else will help,
as long as I'm not inconvienced I will appear to care,

Many came and laughed or made fun,
I don't know him or serves him right,
doesn't affect me or how I sleep at night,

There was only one in a multitude of people,
who offered a shoulder and said,
let me help you find your dog...



O.k., I know I stink at trying to pull it all together, I can think about what I want to express but not how it will get together and flow...words of wisdom would be much appreciated! That stuff just does not come naturally to me.

depopulationINC

twin1 wrote:

A rich man cried...lost his dog,
all he had besides money...held his heart,

Many came to console him,
their motives were for his wealth,
this friendship would benefit them much,
how their pockets could be lined,

Some passed by with crossed arms,
I have endured much worse, suck it up...be a man,
men don't cry, what a weakling,
We all have had to suffer, so must you,

The traditionalist said how sad but he's a sinner,
we have no time for him,
let's put him in our prayers,
it's not big enough for my brownie points,
someone else will help,
as long as I'm not inconvienced I will appear to care,

Many came and laughed or made fun,
I don't know him or serves him right,
doesn't affect me or how I sleep at night,

There was only one in a multitude of people,
who offered a shoulder and said,
let me help you find your dog...



O.k., I know I stink at trying to pull it all together, I can think about what I want to express but not how it will get together and flow...words of wisdom would be much appreciated! That stuff just does not come naturally to me.

it looks good Twin...its amazing what people willl do out of greed. The question is, if you saw it coming, would you take the helping hand simply because it was there?

twin1

depopulationINC wrote:

it looks good Twin...its amazing what people willl do out of greed. The question is, if you saw it coming, would you take the helping hand simply because it was there?

Yeah, I have had my encounters with greedy people, money can change people before your eyes. For me - yes, I would take the helping hand and have. Sometimes when you give you forget that you need help also at times and there is nothing wrong with that, asking for and accepting help, being able to acknowledge that you are human and not equipped to keep it all together by yourself sometimes. A genuine pure-hearted motive is worth taking.

Being Enlightened

I liked this, twin. One should never give in order to receive. As you said, we are ALL human, money or no money.

It looks fine to me because you seem to have broken it down the way you saw it in your head. There's no rhyme scheme so, I, personally, don't think you need to change the structure and, the words themselves express what you want to get across easily. Maybe just play with the punctuation a bit if you feel the need to make changes.

twin1

Being Enlightened wrote:

I liked this, twin. One should never give in order to receive. As you said, we are ALL human, money or no money.

It looks fine to me because you seem to have broken it down the way you saw it in your head. There's no rhyme scheme so, I, personally, don't think you need to change the structure and, the words themselves express what you want to get across easily. Maybe just play with the punctuation a bit if you feel the need to make changes.

Thanx BE! I completely agree! Haven't seen your posts lately...good to know you are still around