First Poem "Where You'll Stay"
NothinGBetteRPJMaN
Posts: 530
This is my very first poem not counting the ones i wrote in first grade.
I think it was pretty cool because i never sat down and said im gonna write a poem. words always just come to me and this time i actually deciced that i would write them down and make a poem. These words were very true to me and are about something that happened about 6 monthes ago
Where You'll Stay
I feel this pain
It's no longer in my brain
It is deep inside my heart
You and I were off to a perfect start
but it came to a crushing end
You can't even call me a friend
But I still look in my mind
for feelings i cannot find
feelings I once knew
feelings that I once consumed
feelings of life and ecstasy
I am lost without you next to me
but you'll always be in my head
and everything you ever said
I won't let you wither away
cause in my mind is where you'll stay
Please comment since it is my first poem and i need some feedback, even if you think it sucks tell me why you think it sucks or something i could change to make it better!
I think it was pretty cool because i never sat down and said im gonna write a poem. words always just come to me and this time i actually deciced that i would write them down and make a poem. These words were very true to me and are about something that happened about 6 monthes ago
Where You'll Stay
I feel this pain
It's no longer in my brain
It is deep inside my heart
You and I were off to a perfect start
but it came to a crushing end
You can't even call me a friend
But I still look in my mind
for feelings i cannot find
feelings I once knew
feelings that I once consumed
feelings of life and ecstasy
I am lost without you next to me
but you'll always be in my head
and everything you ever said
I won't let you wither away
cause in my mind is where you'll stay
Please comment since it is my first poem and i need some feedback, even if you think it sucks tell me why you think it sucks or something i could change to make it better!
*Official Marker in the Sand Fan Club Junkie*
Member # 0004
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter
he grew a beard.
Member # 0004
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter
he grew a beard.
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I've had enough, said enough, felt enough, I'm fine now.
Push me pull me. See ya later
<present tense inhabiter #0003 & Even Flow psycho #0036>
Member # 0004
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter
he grew a beard.
and yours is second to none