twin1 & twin2

stoneygali

She's a beautiful girl
with sorrow in her eyes
Masked by a smiling face and laughter
while a part of her dies ~
Her clothes are baggy, tattered and worn
to hide what can't be seen
And while she pretends to all her friends
inside she feels unclean.

She imagines she is still a girl
when she's all alone
Trying to hide her new beauty
and how much she has grown ~
She wears no make-up or fancy clothes
and doesn't style her hair
But still she shines from deep within
though she doesn't seem to care.

She was just twelve years old
as she started to grow
Becoming so much more beautiful
than she will ever know ~
Then in the silence of one night
when daddy's little girl
Became a woman in her bed
trapped in a different world.

She was old enough to understand
but too young to disobey
Confused by her morality
the shame of it would stay ~
She did not want to disappoint
the daddy that she loved
While he took her into another world
of this new "family love".

She has hidden this dark secret
for three lonely years
With the shame and the sadness
of her silent tears ~
The beauty of her innocence
has been taken away
By the one she loved and trusted,
she has been betrayed.

No one knows her secret pain
he told her not to tell
The scars she carries for those sins
she knows only too well ~
The shame in everybody knowing
the "family love" they share
Their pointed fingers and silent whispers
are more than she can bear.

So as she carries her silent guilt
her eyes fill with tears
Thinking that it will be like this
for the rest of her teenage years ~
To hear the creaking of her door
in the middle of the night
Opening to reveal the one
who will be with her tonight.

The tears she weeps in solitude
behind her closed door
Reflects the pain that tortures her
until she feels no more ~
Her innocence no longer fills
the emptiness of her soul
As she forgets she lost her youth
when she was twelve years old.

twin1

wow, that is so sad, and easy to imagine. I am very thankful that aside from some favoritism and lack of communication, my family was very loving and stable. my parents were highly moral and I knew I was loved. I wished dad were not so moody and more approachable.

It was not until I got older and out into the "real world" that I had a rude awakening. Some of the people I know that I am very close to have had lives that make me cry. The damage done to them at a young age and they in turn live what they know. I encountered dealing with death, being poor, and serious illness at a young age but not abuse and severe mental illness until I was older.

That is why I am very in tune with children being taught right while little and try to do what I can. They grow into adults and whatever damage they receive may be taken out on someone else one day if they keep that anger inside them or they may hurt themselves. Seeing first hand the scars it leaves is disturbing and makes me upset and angry. I don't like abuse or victimization of any sort, it makes me sick and want to end that nasty cycle. Alot of very violent "bad" people don't come from happy backgrounds but most people would write them off instead of finding out what is really in their heart. Some can change, some choose not to but they all deserve a chance. None of us asks to be born.

It was a good read, thanks for posting, I wish no one ever had to deal with things like that, it is so unfair and sad

afan

I'm actually twin2 and I too thought the poem was well written. My sister is pretty much right though. There was no abuse. Just a dad who had some mood swings. I found him to be very difficult to get along with, but I take things to heart more than my sister. He provided for his family and took care of his responsibilities. I was never close to him. He wasn't really the kind of dad you felt comfortable talking to. Pretty strict. I do think she is right about children being taught right when they are young. If they can be in a loving, nurturing environment, they will grow. Even if they are mentally challenged or have problems. I've never met anyone that has a perfect upbringing. I'm not sure that exists. I think most parents just do the best they can and repeat what they learned. Unfortunately, if that is dysfunctional, they may wind up in the same cycle.

stoneygali

it broke my heart to write that..............

my best girl from the cradle until we meet the grave is what she is. we've been sisters since......... 4ever........

having her breakdown and tell me what things happened to her, and me knwoing what i went thru wasnt as bad..........

shattered my soul.

twin1

stoneygali wrote:

it broke my heart to write that..............

my best girl from the cradle until we meet the grave is what she is. we've been sisters since......... 4ever........

having her breakdown and tell me what things happened to her, and me knwoing what i went thru wasnt as bad..........

shattered my soul.

I am so sorry to hear that, about both of you! I sympathize! I am really glad though that you have the blessing of each other, everyone needs support through hard things. Abuse is tough because it makes the victim feel alot of things including shame and fear. I found it is helpful to have at least 1 person to be completely open with, that does help. You have to get to that point though, I was too embarrased to tell anyone for a long time about how bad it was and I regret that. It slowly kills your spirit. You can't heal until you face it even though it hurts. I pray that everyone out there that has been a victim or is being victimized in some way has someone to help them, even if it is just listening. Much love to both of you and a prayer for many blessings!! T1

bigbill

i don't feel sorry for most victims of abuse cause they go back for more..

twin1

bigbill wrote:

i don't feel sorry for most victims of abuse cause they go back for more..

not all do go back and sometimes people change and get needed help, not every situation is the same when it comes to abuse