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first poem to post..like it or not..it's up to you

eyes-full-of-hateeyes-full-of-hate Posts: 2
edited June 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
live's just a hazard
soon it'll be shattered..again

it brings relief
good things you achieve
i see no more light
you're out of sight
darkness..again

around our minds we've build a wall
we all triple and crawl
in our minds..

live's just a hazard
soon it'll be shattered..again

more hate
no more faith
depression
turns into my aggression
darkness..
this aint my reflection

walls getting steeper
we bath in lakes of grief
cuts getting deeper
the blade gives no more relief

live's just a hazard
soon it'll be shattered
then there's darkness
again..
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • ISNISN Posts: 1,700
    I like the repetition, plus I really think that a peom which expresses such deep emotion is worth a lot.....
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    I agree with ISN. I also really like the rhyme of "live's just a hazard
    soon it'll be shattered". Reminds me of that Rolling Stone's song "Shattered" in a way. :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • MOON LOVEMOON LOVE Posts: 35
    I can empathize. hold on...
  • steppenwolfsteppenwolf Posts: 164
    i hate it.




    well...


    you asked.
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