open eyed

lucia

Has any one ever felt betrayed the first time they cant give, after years (in my case 11 years) of giving completely? you see the reality of someone/situation for the first time-and its terrifying.

Alone
Droped at the first hurdle
11 years of ignorance
most of my life
the one constant
is gone
shattered
whispered imprints of happiness
make me smile
between the tears
of aching sorrow
thank you
for turing my entire life
the wrong way up
so now I can see
where im supposed to be
and where you blindly
went wrong
So uncertain
Constantly changing
Moving
Swirling
tumbling
Like the country roads
Yours for the taking
If u can hold ur stomache
Il Keep things steady
And il find my way.
You highlighted the danger zones
Of where I never want to be
You say il be alone
I say im free.

Ali

lucia wrote:

Has any one ever felt betrayed the first time they cant give, after years (in my case 11 years) of giving completely? you see the reality of someone/situation for the first time-and its terrifying.

Alone
Droped at the first hurdle
11 years of ignorance
most of my life
the one constant
is gone
shattered
whispered imprints of happiness
make me smile
between the tears
of aching sorrow
thank you
for turing my entire life
the wrong way up
so now I can see
where im supposed to be
and where you blindly
went wrong
So uncertain
Constantly changing
Moving
Swirling
tumbling
Like the country roads
Yours for the taking
If u can hold ur stomache
Il Keep things steady
And il find my way.
You highlighted the danger zones
Of where I never want to be
You say il be alone
I say im free.

Nice Lucia.The last two lines are very powerful....
I wouldve ended up telling someone where to put it....
but I guess youve done that well enough inthis piece.
I like it a lot.:)

lucia

Thank you Ali! yeah the situation did end up with me telling someone to shove it somewhere unpleasant haha. at the time i was soooo angry, but when i wrote this i had calmed down a bit-felt relieved and sad at the same time. it was all just vomited onto the page in a bout 2 minutes, but i think its something to work on.
x x x

LeaderOfMen

lucia wrote:

Has any one ever felt betrayed the first time they cant give, after years (in my case 11 years) of giving completely? you see the reality of someone/situation for the first time-and its terrifying.

Alone
Droped at the first hurdle
11 years of ignorance
most of my life
the one constant
is gone
shattered
whispered imprints of happiness
make me smile
between the tears
of aching sorrow
thank you
for turing my entire life
the wrong way up
so now I can see
where im supposed to be
and where you blindly
went wrong
So uncertain
Constantly changing
Moving
Swirling
tumbling
Like the country roads
Yours for the taking
If u can hold ur stomache
Il Keep things steady
And il find my way.
You highlighted the danger zones
Of where I never want to be
You say il be alone
I say im free.

i like that fact that its positive but still shows the feeling of being hurt

trappedinmyradio

lucia wrote:

You highlighted the danger zones
Of where I never want to be

ooh i like that...

and yes...

ISN

one word, but a very big one, betrayal.....how can love be shorter than betrayal....betroothed.....betrayed.....alone.....dismayed......love is the best four letter word I know, and it's just such a full word......bigger than the sum of its parts