unsolved yet

asphaltasphalt Posts: 113
edited September 2006 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Gazing at doubts, born out of minds
Foresight remembers to experience fate

Pushing apart two reasons of nature
Evolution decides to paralyze a race

Recognize kids, as they wrestle with a melody,
Screaming beyond its age …

I drift in subtle symptoms of belief
As time seizes my day


A night’s dream found wrapped up in laundry
That refuses to go down the drain

Beyond the working hours’ stamina
Ambitions settle for passion and prayers

What purpose, similar to distance awaits,
A decision that ushers in a longing for delay

I succumb to subtle deviations from truth
Perhaps, a pinocchio’s instinct perpetuates
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • good title, asphalt
    can't grab at where you're going at all

    regardless... i was happy to see your post

    so, howdy :)
  • asphaltasphalt Posts: 113
    hey .. pasta !! ... well i'm so glad ... you posted .. (no one else really liked this piece i guess!) .. thanks

    well you're right, the poem starts without a direction and ends without one ... not to mention that it also gets detached between the the rhyming pairs .....

    also, honestly, i came up with the poem first without a title (which also means that i didn't have a clear idea of what my thoughts were trying to imply to me ................. i continued .. gave them the freedom)

    the point is ... each pair of lines try to state an observation ... about things which happen without 'correct' reason .. to generate 'unwanted' results ... which seem 'untrue' ........... but still there's a a hidden agenda behind them ........ which makes you wonder ......... seems unsolved .... yet

    (sorry for this extra long explantion)
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