let go of a kite today

asphaltasphalt Posts: 113
edited April 2006 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Let go of a kite today
Let go of heights
Drink a beer if it harms you
Settle a struggling smile
Sweat under a democratic sun
Cause love needs to relax
In the age of my ambition
I must not lose my delight
Some say a brutal passion is
Easier only on truants
When traveling is your profession
Friends can be your clients
Wisdom comes through nature
Wit celebrates with wine
Jellyfish or prawns, seafood and nations
Not everyone always survives
Greet demons breathing in peace
Let curses trouble the divine
No fiction needs to be true forever
Let freedom choose its style
I’ve revolved and have received
I learn but eagerly deceived
Let go of a kite today
Let go of what you’ve tied.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • justamjustam Posts: 21,412
    asphalt wrote:
    Let go of a kite today
    Let go of heights
    Drink a beer if it harms you
    Settle a struggling smile
    Sweat under a democratic sun
    Cause love needs to relax
    In the age of my ambition
    I must not lose my delight
    Some say a brutal passion is
    Easier only on truants
    When traveling is your profession
    Friends can be your clients
    Wisdom comes through nature
    Wit celebrates with wine
    Jellyfish or prawns, seafood and nations
    Not everyone always survives
    Greet demons breathing in peace
    Let curses trouble the divine
    No fiction needs to be true forever
    Let freedom choose its style
    I’ve revolved and have received
    I learn but eagerly deceived
    Let go of a kite today
    Let go of what you’ve tied.

    You manage to pack a lot into these small phrases. :)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • Mystique420Mystique420 Posts: 338
    justam wrote:
    You manage to pack a lot into these small phrases. :)


    yeah, i agree with that... nicely done.
    "To live,.... love,..... there's a song to be sung,....
    'cause we may not be the Young Ones,..."

    --first u sow the seed-- nature grows the seed-- then we eat the seed-- ;) nah,... we smoke it!
  • feathersfeathers Posts: 84
    This is pretty damn good.
    04/18/03
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  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    the first four, and last two lines would make a terrific chorus in a song


    i've no clue what the middle stuff is about :D
  • asphaltasphalt Posts: 113
    thanks every one ....
    pasta .. sometimes .. words just slip out .... and get together .............
    i do believe it may not sound too coherent all the time .................. but put together some odd 20 lines ... just create a new thought .... a new state of being ..................... not attained earlier ... that's all man

    what the hell ... its just a poem ... not math
  • JamalJamal Posts: 2,115
    asphalt wrote:
    what the hell ... its just a poem ... not math
    Poetry is pure emotion, pure feeling ...
    That's why eg jimi hendrix's songs aren't music, they are pure poetry.
    Most songs are a mathematically based melody, but with hendrix, everything was pure feelings, pure emotion (a little drugs as well) ;p

    You shouldn't try to defend poetry, as it will always defend itself...
    Surf little waves big... Charge big waves hard

    - Antwerp '06, Nijmegen '07, Werchter '07
  • asphaltasphalt Posts: 113
    well true jamal ......
    and pasta, .. nothing against you ... you've been a damn good critique for most of my works
  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    asphalt wrote:
    pasta .. sometimes .. words just slip out .... and get together .............

    create a new thought .... a new state of being ..................... not attained earlier ... that's all man



    dude, i get that! honest I do. and I dig it and I wouldn't change anything

    maybe i shoulda just said that the whole "let go of what's tied" thing really really really rocks my boat. it made me sigh and think beautiful, peaceful things... i'm "attached" to those lines, that's all. like... i LOVE them.

    the inside stuff in the poem doesn't grab at my heart like the "bookends" of the piece... but it's still good. it still challenges and creates new thought.

    my apologies if I put you off.

    i didn't mean to.


    Rachel
  • jboelhowjboelhow Posts: 170
    asphalt, cool poem. Interestedly, I flew a kite with my kids a couple of days ago. There was a undertow of desire to let it go. It would have been cool to see how it flew with no person holding it back. This brings me to the philosophical response to the poem. To me it seems that it address the idea to set ourselves free from outside forces/ideas. Yet, if we let those things go, what is left for us? Of course it is based on how you think one's identity is developed. But just a thought to discuss. As I was tempted to release the kite, I thought it would look beautiful. But there I would stand, with nothing...
    Live the life you dream

    "Cause I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me
    So I can say this is the way I use to be" -- John Mayer
  • imspinninimspinnin Posts: 933
    I would love to let a kite go...
    right by the ocean~~~~along with all my negative energies:o
    Great poem:)
    If I could be anything in the world I would be your teardrop...I would be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
  • asphaltasphalt Posts: 113
    hey ... hey .. thanks for all those contributions ........... ... added so much more to the thought already there in the poem ........ i really liked all the feelings

    jboelhow - i believe things change with time .. i'm still quite young than you .. and hence 'letting it go' seems to be a passionate foolish idea that appeals so much ..... i'm sure as time flies ..and i will see more point of views than just mine .... . i'll crawl back to my home .. maybe ... and would rather love the fire place more than the open seas !


    and rachel - plleeease ! .. i haven't been put off ... your honest opinion and post is what i would look forward to .. and not appreciation ..so do continue to share whatever u feel ................... i always look forward to it !


    just a brief explanation though

    the poem's about simplifying things, being a spectator for a while rather than being a conductor ..........understanding the life and making sense of the bigger picture ...ease out so you can broaden the perspective .. broaden your scope of feelings .. ..

    my favourite line is .............

    let freedom choose its style .

    thank you all !
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