Damn obsessions!
Thorns2010
Posts: 2,201
Ok, this is more of a journal like entry, then a poem, but I need to let it out!
Interesting wouldn’t you say? Back here again after a long time away. Never thought this day would come around, that I’d have a chance again. But I don’t have a chance, that’s the point, she doesn’t see it that way, never did, and never will. I guess it sucks though, because everything I have with her is what I want in a wife. I can tell her just about anything, if not everything, and I know she’ll still care about me, still love me. I know she loves me, but isn’t in love with me. And I know she is going through a hard time right now, being single again after a long relationship. How I’d love to be able to tell her everything is going to be ok, that if you just open your eyes, you’ll see I’ll never leave you, never hurt you, never again would you feel pain. I’m happy when I’m with her, there is no other way to explain it, I just can’t tell her. She is the reason I can’t say you are meant to be with someone, because in my mind, I still believe we were meant to be. Fuck, man, I’d move to Des Moines with her, to be with her, I don’t have anything holding me here, keeping me here. That’s something her ex couldn’t do, yet I can, is that wrong? And the worse part, I can’t tell anyone how I feel, because they wouldn’t understand, they never have understood, what its like to be me, I don’t even know if I understand what its like to be me. 4 years has been a long time, I’ve changed a lot, tried out love with others, but it still didn’t feel the same. And honestly, being with her really wouldn’t be much different then what we have now, I don’t think, just that I’d be able to hold her, in more ways then one, that’s for sure. What do I do now? This wasn’t suppose to happen, I wasn’t supposed to care about her anymore. At least care about her in this way. It’s as if we are fated to never be, yet be perfect for each other. Strange, I know.
Interesting wouldn’t you say? Back here again after a long time away. Never thought this day would come around, that I’d have a chance again. But I don’t have a chance, that’s the point, she doesn’t see it that way, never did, and never will. I guess it sucks though, because everything I have with her is what I want in a wife. I can tell her just about anything, if not everything, and I know she’ll still care about me, still love me. I know she loves me, but isn’t in love with me. And I know she is going through a hard time right now, being single again after a long relationship. How I’d love to be able to tell her everything is going to be ok, that if you just open your eyes, you’ll see I’ll never leave you, never hurt you, never again would you feel pain. I’m happy when I’m with her, there is no other way to explain it, I just can’t tell her. She is the reason I can’t say you are meant to be with someone, because in my mind, I still believe we were meant to be. Fuck, man, I’d move to Des Moines with her, to be with her, I don’t have anything holding me here, keeping me here. That’s something her ex couldn’t do, yet I can, is that wrong? And the worse part, I can’t tell anyone how I feel, because they wouldn’t understand, they never have understood, what its like to be me, I don’t even know if I understand what its like to be me. 4 years has been a long time, I’ve changed a lot, tried out love with others, but it still didn’t feel the same. And honestly, being with her really wouldn’t be much different then what we have now, I don’t think, just that I’d be able to hold her, in more ways then one, that’s for sure. What do I do now? This wasn’t suppose to happen, I wasn’t supposed to care about her anymore. At least care about her in this way. It’s as if we are fated to never be, yet be perfect for each other. Strange, I know.
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Comments
let her get over her relationship. it could take a while... like, even a year or two, cuz honestly, sometimes stuff takes that long. if she starts seeing someone else, don't sweat it... just keep being present and keep being real. then one day, when she's had enough alone time and actually wants real love? ask her to marry you
just my take
if you wont ever leave her, then don't.
and if you let go of all the angst, she might see you for the friend you are and realize you're the FAR better choice over all the other foolios hollerin'
good luck
Part of me totally agrees with you, part of me says no I can't do that!
And I tried to be her back-up plan. A.K.A. if we are both 30 plus and not married that we marry each other, she claims she doesn't remember that conversation.......wooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh is me......:D
But I was just looking at some old stuff on my computer to post, and I did a search first to make sure I wasn't repeating myself!
Anyway, turns out girl got back together with guy and they are getting married in May.
I'm still single though ladies!