I Wear Your Death on My Shoulders

anxietypleaseanxietyplease Posts: 48
I heard you hung yourself.
That you hung upon your mother's log cabin porch.
With a note semi sarcastic, semi sane.
And I pictured you, dead.
Did your eyes stay open, did they close?
Why did you do that???
I kept telling myself that it's not real...but as I walked towards your casket, my knees gave out.
I cried so hard for you.
Your selfishness has taken part of me with you.
I used to know you well, you were like my brother.
And I just keep thinking that if I knew how sad you were...if I knew you anymore...I would have been there for you.
Why didn't you hold on????
You should have held on just alittle longer...I would have caught up to you Jay.
I would have tried to make you see that you really weren't that alone.
All these people that came to your wake.
And I left that place in a daze...went to the nearest bar and took a shot of Comfort for you.
I can't believe you're gone.
You really did die.
You really did commit suicide...and now I can't sleep.
You hung yourself the day before my birthday...and you were 27.
You wanted this...this pain for everyone to feel.
I can't stop thinking about you hanging by your neck on your mother's porch.
I can't stop thinking about what could have been going through your head to make you really do this.
How alone you must have felt.
The last few days you were on this earth...how they were the days that made you want to die.
I wear your death on my shoulders, as does everyone.
And you will never get to heaven.
I feel like you aren't dead.
That you killed yourself and saw how many people mourn for you so you are on your way back.
How unreal this all feels.
How sad I am.
I keep thinking about you.
How you always made me laugh, and I remeber everytime we cried.
You're gone Jay.
Don't you want to come back now???
Don't you just wish you never fucked yourself like this???
I just can't come to terms with this, hung yourself on the part of the log cabin that sticks out alittle more than the rest.
Your home Jay...your mother has to live the rest of her life there.
And the firetruck had to use the ladder to reach you.
You asshole.
Like a horror film...she had to look at her dead son until someone was able to get your lifeless body down.
I wear your death on my shoulders...because you were my friend and I miss you.
And I never knew what this felt like until you.
I will love you even though you couldn't.
"If it takes my whole life, I won't break I won't bend."
-S. McLachlan
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • CoffeeHoundCoffeeHound Posts: 12
    Quite dramatic.

    It may be more effective if it was less conversational.

    All in all, I like it quite a bit.
    the Hound
  • im not sure how to deal with it anyways...i see your point. although its pretty much whats racing through my head everytime i think about it. so it speaks for my frustration. but your right...it doesnt flow well at all.
    "If it takes my whole life, I won't break I won't bend."
    -S. McLachlan
  • KovoKovo Posts: 255
    I loved it, and I don't see a problem with the way you wrote it.
    I shouldn't have to fight a battle I'll never win, just to lose those I've never had.
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    I feel your pain...excellent writing....sorry to hear:(
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • ISNISN Posts: 1,700
    take care.....sorry about what happened.....try to remember him when you knew him in happier times, otherwise, it's a helluva lot to deal with.....take care
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • asphaltasphalt Posts: 113
    its very real ... i can quite feel the reason for the anger ... and helplessness
    ...... its disgusting when you're helpless ....
    nice real poem ..
    take care ..
  • thank you friends...your words make me feel alittle bit better. Im glad that you all took the time to read it and send regards. means alot to me. and i do....i think of the happier times when he was alive...but it always ends of linking to his sadness. no one will ever know. and thats what hurts the most. This is the first time i have ever felt THIS kind of loss. how DOES one coop. it's driving me crazy. but i am hanging in there and your support has made my eyes open alittle more each time. thank you again. love natalie
    "If it takes my whole life, I won't break I won't bend."
    -S. McLachlan
  • pearlmuttpearlmutt Posts: 392
    "I will love you even though you couldn't."

    that's very beautiful and very worth remembering. Thank you for sharing it.
  • Anna_falkAnna_falk Posts: 114
    No one can really know what's going on inside a persons mind, the choice was his even though it's hard to understand.
    Try to support and find strength in each other.
    Take care
    To worry about tomorrow doesn't make it easier,
    it only makes today worse.
  • He loved The Doors and was 27. Hmmmmm..... He's been dead for 10 days now but everytime I think of him, I think to call him to see if he's ok or doing better since his death. ???? Then I realize...he's dead dumbass. It's crazy. All of this is crazy. When I go back home to NY, I have made the choice to go to his grave. Even though I went to the wake, I still have a fews things left to say to him. You can all be sure that I will turn into "mega potty mouth" girl at that point as I stand over his head stone. Nothing like getting ready to scream at the top of your lungs to freshly seeded lawn and an upright slab of stone. But we all know that, even if you look crazy doing this, you are able to let go alittle more of what you're holding onto. Thank You everyone for your replies! I feel the love...seriously!
    "If it takes my whole life, I won't break I won't bend."
    -S. McLachlan
  • pearlmuttpearlmutt Posts: 392
    "I feel the love...seriously!"

    good.

    let me know which potty mouthed poem you decide to read to your friend.

    "the choice was his even though it's hard to understand."

    Anna, that's very true and it reminds me of the ending of Erica Jong's poem about Sylvia Plath's suicide:

    what could we tell you
    after you dove down into yourself
    & were swallowed
    by your poems?
  • Well, I'd have to say that it'll be one of those "live in the moment?" kind of deals. I haven't even thought of writing a poem for THAT occasion. And I don't think in doing so that I would get the full affect. I'm just gonna wing it! Throw some punches at the wind chuck full of vulgarity, sadness, and anger. However, if I can remember what I said...I will be sure to list specifics!
    "If it takes my whole life, I won't break I won't bend."
    -S. McLachlan
  • pearlmuttpearlmutt Posts: 392
    good enough! Sometimes winging it is the only way
  • EvilToasterElfEvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    pieces like this are always the hardest to clean up, but there are some truly beautiful moments of pain inside of this, you just have to wait, and have other people look at it for you and suggest small changes, but eventually you will have to wade back into your own darkness, shivering with the frost of loss and look up at the moon that turns the ice to glass, and there you can find the beauty, the savage naked truth beneath the pain and turn it into art. Good luck. I'm sorry about your friend, any friend that can produce moments like this is worth keeping around.
  • moegossardmoegossard Posts: 75
    take me away from this death
  • I wish I could take MYSELF away from this death. Someone that cannot find something worth living for will eventually find their way out of my mind. Into his hell....

    If I continue to remind myself how selfish he was in doing this, I can find comfort in my anger rather then my pain.

    I consider you all great poeple for, in a way, being there for me.
    "If it takes my whole life, I won't break I won't bend."
    -S. McLachlan
Sign In or Register to comment.