I Missed the Truth
anxietyplease
Posts: 48
Not a day goes by that I don't think about what I've done.
I think of all the stupid shit I said,
All the stupid moves I made.
I think of how deep I dug my grave,
How hard I am going to fall down into.
Let the earth cover over me.
I thought of all the looks I meant, the kisses I meant, the stains, those sins.
I meant them all.
I have been melting from desire, from free will,
Just as it hits my heart, the string is broken.
I didn't see the denial along the way but, I felt it...For the better of what's to come I gathered.
My body became lotion.
The kind that numbs the skin.
And I remember what was said about me,
That I loose my heart everywhere I go,
I loose myself with every door I open.
But they are my loss' and I can't accept them like I should.
There's noone that guides me through,
On this neverending destruction of my being.
I have established nothing but used cells that bind me together.
I made this bed Love,
This sandy, sweaty bed.
And I'm fighting for grace, reaching for something to take my hand.
I hoped, rather believed, that this would make my simplicities even more adoring.
But there's no greatness left.
My flaws have trapted my only existance inside this centimeter of embarassment.
Although I had asked for one of those white, patted rooms...never works out.
The greed I must posess,
The darkness that's got to be pouring from my eyes.
I miss.
I miss where I used to be.
The women I used to know, or thought I knew.
6-16-05 A month til monogmy...
I think of all the stupid shit I said,
All the stupid moves I made.
I think of how deep I dug my grave,
How hard I am going to fall down into.
Let the earth cover over me.
I thought of all the looks I meant, the kisses I meant, the stains, those sins.
I meant them all.
I have been melting from desire, from free will,
Just as it hits my heart, the string is broken.
I didn't see the denial along the way but, I felt it...For the better of what's to come I gathered.
My body became lotion.
The kind that numbs the skin.
And I remember what was said about me,
That I loose my heart everywhere I go,
I loose myself with every door I open.
But they are my loss' and I can't accept them like I should.
There's noone that guides me through,
On this neverending destruction of my being.
I have established nothing but used cells that bind me together.
I made this bed Love,
This sandy, sweaty bed.
And I'm fighting for grace, reaching for something to take my hand.
I hoped, rather believed, that this would make my simplicities even more adoring.
But there's no greatness left.
My flaws have trapted my only existance inside this centimeter of embarassment.
Although I had asked for one of those white, patted rooms...never works out.
The greed I must posess,
The darkness that's got to be pouring from my eyes.
I miss.
I miss where I used to be.
The women I used to know, or thought I knew.
6-16-05 A month til monogmy...
"If it takes my whole life, I won't break I won't bend."
-S. McLachlan
-S. McLachlan
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments
You expressed the honesty that evry good person with a conscience should feel about themselves.:)
A whisper and a chill
adv2005
"Why do I bother?"
The 11th Commandment.
"Whatever"
PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?