When Out Comes The Moon

anxietypleaseanxietyplease Posts: 48
I made a mistake and now I have to take care of this. Tiny black hole getting bigger and bigger and bigger and filling with greed, filling with shit. I did nothing to represent you but I did something to betray you and now I am doing something to save you. I haven't had to mend like this for so long but there's toomuchness in every moment that makes it into my life. I am praying to God, on my knees, Hail Hail Hail Mary that's full of WHAT grace? In my actions I have failed against you and you alone. More then I care to remember, more then I can forget. I dismembered what we have being saving, I cancelled this effort, made you look foolish for believing in me. Ever. So, I have been thinking of what to do what to do where to go where to run. How will I make it out alive. For 3 many pains and 2 many accidentals my heart grows further and weaker the more I do. I can't realize how much I will hurt. How much you will hate. I only pretend I am dreaming this mare of misfortunates and I'll look up and see the sun outside my window. Telling me that today was going to be better then yesterday but I fucked up that opportunity. Able to recognize what's happening, I get out of bed and see there's noone here with me. That I am in the solitude I had always dreamed about but only the timing is way off. Not Baby anymore. No No, not Baby anymore. I wasted you and wasted everything else like I do with yogurt that's only one day after the expiration. Perhaps someday I'll find out the why's. But I have said this all before. What a glorious fuck up I turned out to be. What a precious liar, such wonderful stupidity I posess. Way to go with my selfishness and beautiful lips. If I had a chance, I missed it.
"If it takes my whole life, I won't break I won't bend."
-S. McLachlan
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • violet rayviolet ray Posts: 502
    i'm not sure why
    but this one made me cry.
    You ask me to enter
    But then You make me crawl
    And I can't be holding on
    To what You got
    When all You've got is hurt
    ----
    Underneath this smile lies everything
    All my hopes and anger, pride and shame
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