Short Story - "Hero and Her"
Nast
Posts: 127
Well... it was hot and humid that day, humid in the fact that it was raining. In a poetic move of courage our hero struck up a brief conversation with a member of the opposite sex;
"Hey, how are you doing?"
Wait... the words didn't escape his mouth... what kind of control is this? Is she doing this to him? And then she speaks...
"How's it going?"
Our hero replies with chaste...
"Good!"
Our hero is then struck by this overwhelming flush that seems to turn his face beat red... 'My God' he thinks to himself, 'She is doing this to me! I must put an end to this!'
She passes and for the brief moment she is gone he has a chance to gather himself and prepare for the second passing... this time his plan shall execute flawlessly and nonchalant... As she approaches again, a girl friend of hers joins her side... and our hero... not prepared to be outnumbered, merely stands there with a dumbstrucken smile upon his face...
They smile and continue on past. Once they are out of hearing range our hero lets out the breath he forgot he was holding... He watches them continue on down the hall talking amongst themselves... obviously cooking up another evil plot to thwart our hero with; on perhaps a third passing later on in the day. Our hero knows so because he's so devilishly goodlooking and who wouldn't be planning on walking by him...
Then in the distance he notices the two part ways, and the one he admires has taken a path towards... dun dun dun... the trash compactor.
Confused he ponders to himself what in the world she may be doing... she wasn't carrying any garbage... watching the entrance the answer would soon become oh too obvious. As she re-emerges from the hallway our hero notices she is pushing... the trash cart.
This can only mean one thing... she must be planning on returning to the trash compactor... with a trash cart full of trash. Depending on how much trash there may be it may be a while for her to return... may take a while for her to unload the cart... meaning only one thing... she will be alone for a brief period of time.
Time to devise another plan our hero thinks...
With the steps of his plan laid out carefully... yet perfectly in his mind... there is no way he can fail... all he must do now is wait for her return.
Probably a good ten minutes pass... almost asleep our hero's eyes crack open for a brief second and catch a glimpse of our antagonist entering the hallway towards the compactor. Our hero arises from his chair and puts the first steps of his plan into motion. Notifying his superior that he is going to take the trash to the compactor.
He looks under the counter where they keep the trash to find that someone has already removed it earlier this morning. Moving quickly he gathers what he can... a box... a few empty soda cups... some scrap paper found laying around... and procedes on to step 2 of his plan.
Our hero arrives at the entrance to the compactor, it is a deep and dimly lit hallway, a door at the back that swings open and shut... he procedes into the tunnel. 'This is it...' he thinks to himself, 'this is the moment that will separate you from the mice... or something.'
His thoughts off track he pushes open the door and sees her standing there...
"Hey, how are you doing?"
The words finally escape his mouth... to which she replies...
"Okay... I hate grabbing the bags from the bottom of the cart..." She looks sort of grossed out as she attempts to pick a bag out of the cart with the minimum amount of fingers possible. 'Opportunity' our hero thinks to himself, and in a daring move exclaims:
"Here, let me help you with those." He grabs a couple of bags and procedes to throw them into the compactor. Just then as he shut the compactor door, time; seemed to stand at a pause. He looked her in the eyes and so unprepared yet again, states "HEY"
She replies "Yes?"
With a bit of a stutter emits the following words in somewhat of an understandable order; "What, I, wonder, was, are, you, doing, tonight?" He ponders to himself whether or not the words that he emitted were comprehendable, when in a brash retort she states;
"Oh, I'm babysitting for my ex-boss tonight."
Beaten and bruised our hero about admits defeat when our antagonist then exclaims;
"How come?"
Hope sparkles once again in our hero's eyes as he finds himself not completely beaten, and utters whats left of the plan he had first so carefully devised, "I was just wondering if you wanted to catch a movie with me?"
To which she replies "Hmmm, Thursday?"
A feeling of pleasure, success, and new found confidence flows through the body of our hero as he states "Sounds great!"
Brief pause...
"MAKE SMALL TALK" a voice in our hero's head shouts.
"So, babysiting for your boss?" our hero asks.
"Ex-boss really, she used to work at Vanity. So ya, it's going to be a long day."
"I know the feeling."
Our two-tagonists exit the long murky hallway and before they part ways our hero asks one final question; "Soooooo, I'll talk to you then?"
"Yep." She replies, and the two head their own ways. It's then when our hero realizes what he has done... Intsead of putting an end to the pleasureful feelings of awkardness, he has just possibly opened the doorway to a million more...
And for those million more, he can't wait.
Our hero also realizes... that he couldn't have picked possibly a worse place to ask a girl out.
-Always D
"Hey, how are you doing?"
Wait... the words didn't escape his mouth... what kind of control is this? Is she doing this to him? And then she speaks...
"How's it going?"
Our hero replies with chaste...
"Good!"
Our hero is then struck by this overwhelming flush that seems to turn his face beat red... 'My God' he thinks to himself, 'She is doing this to me! I must put an end to this!'
She passes and for the brief moment she is gone he has a chance to gather himself and prepare for the second passing... this time his plan shall execute flawlessly and nonchalant... As she approaches again, a girl friend of hers joins her side... and our hero... not prepared to be outnumbered, merely stands there with a dumbstrucken smile upon his face...
They smile and continue on past. Once they are out of hearing range our hero lets out the breath he forgot he was holding... He watches them continue on down the hall talking amongst themselves... obviously cooking up another evil plot to thwart our hero with; on perhaps a third passing later on in the day. Our hero knows so because he's so devilishly goodlooking and who wouldn't be planning on walking by him...
Then in the distance he notices the two part ways, and the one he admires has taken a path towards... dun dun dun... the trash compactor.
Confused he ponders to himself what in the world she may be doing... she wasn't carrying any garbage... watching the entrance the answer would soon become oh too obvious. As she re-emerges from the hallway our hero notices she is pushing... the trash cart.
This can only mean one thing... she must be planning on returning to the trash compactor... with a trash cart full of trash. Depending on how much trash there may be it may be a while for her to return... may take a while for her to unload the cart... meaning only one thing... she will be alone for a brief period of time.
Time to devise another plan our hero thinks...
With the steps of his plan laid out carefully... yet perfectly in his mind... there is no way he can fail... all he must do now is wait for her return.
Probably a good ten minutes pass... almost asleep our hero's eyes crack open for a brief second and catch a glimpse of our antagonist entering the hallway towards the compactor. Our hero arises from his chair and puts the first steps of his plan into motion. Notifying his superior that he is going to take the trash to the compactor.
He looks under the counter where they keep the trash to find that someone has already removed it earlier this morning. Moving quickly he gathers what he can... a box... a few empty soda cups... some scrap paper found laying around... and procedes on to step 2 of his plan.
Our hero arrives at the entrance to the compactor, it is a deep and dimly lit hallway, a door at the back that swings open and shut... he procedes into the tunnel. 'This is it...' he thinks to himself, 'this is the moment that will separate you from the mice... or something.'
His thoughts off track he pushes open the door and sees her standing there...
"Hey, how are you doing?"
The words finally escape his mouth... to which she replies...
"Okay... I hate grabbing the bags from the bottom of the cart..." She looks sort of grossed out as she attempts to pick a bag out of the cart with the minimum amount of fingers possible. 'Opportunity' our hero thinks to himself, and in a daring move exclaims:
"Here, let me help you with those." He grabs a couple of bags and procedes to throw them into the compactor. Just then as he shut the compactor door, time; seemed to stand at a pause. He looked her in the eyes and so unprepared yet again, states "HEY"
She replies "Yes?"
With a bit of a stutter emits the following words in somewhat of an understandable order; "What, I, wonder, was, are, you, doing, tonight?" He ponders to himself whether or not the words that he emitted were comprehendable, when in a brash retort she states;
"Oh, I'm babysitting for my ex-boss tonight."
Beaten and bruised our hero about admits defeat when our antagonist then exclaims;
"How come?"
Hope sparkles once again in our hero's eyes as he finds himself not completely beaten, and utters whats left of the plan he had first so carefully devised, "I was just wondering if you wanted to catch a movie with me?"
To which she replies "Hmmm, Thursday?"
A feeling of pleasure, success, and new found confidence flows through the body of our hero as he states "Sounds great!"
Brief pause...
"MAKE SMALL TALK" a voice in our hero's head shouts.
"So, babysiting for your boss?" our hero asks.
"Ex-boss really, she used to work at Vanity. So ya, it's going to be a long day."
"I know the feeling."
Our two-tagonists exit the long murky hallway and before they part ways our hero asks one final question; "Soooooo, I'll talk to you then?"
"Yep." She replies, and the two head their own ways. It's then when our hero realizes what he has done... Intsead of putting an end to the pleasureful feelings of awkardness, he has just possibly opened the doorway to a million more...
And for those million more, he can't wait.
Our hero also realizes... that he couldn't have picked possibly a worse place to ask a girl out.
-Always D
The king of run on sentences...
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments
I just thought it was entirely too humorous and needed to be shared!
-Always D